WWE RAW recap, May 8: Ambrose and Miz, Co-RAW General Managers

Enemies had to co-exist as GMs for the night in London, but you can probably guess how that went …

The Replacements

I’m not sure if RAW General Manager Kurt Angle overdosed on whole milk or lost one of his gold medals in his couch cushions, but he made Dean Ambrose his acting replacement for the night. Naturally, this upset The Miz, who had a trick of his own up his sleeveless jacket, telling Dean-O that Stephanie McMahon made him co-General Manager. I can dig this type of monkey wrench thrown into the long rivalry of Miz/Ambrose, which broke the monotony consist of one doing commentary on the other’s matches, and episodes of each of their talk shows that inevitably gets interrupted by the other guy. Ambrose and Miz are set to battle for the Intercontinental Championship at Extreme Rules next month, but on RAW they battled for General Managing supremacy.

It was quite obvious that this wrinkle would mess up the order of RAW, at least in the eyes of every other superstar, and Braun Strowman was the first to be vocal about it. Strowman has a semi-serious elbow injury, and will be out of in-ring action for at least the next four weeks (Extreme Rules is in exactly four weeks); perhaps this is why Kalisto had the courage to challenge Strowman to a match. Strowman said he could beat Kalisto with one arm, so Ambrose made the match for later in the evening.

It was quite obvious that Ambrose and Miz would be setting up matches for each other, so Ambrose broke the seal on that by putting Miz in the first match of the night against Finn Balor. Balor and Miz had a few minutes of solid action that was followed by Miz shoving Balor into the referee. Miz, ever the consummate heel, demanded the referee end the match via disqualification. Wouldn’t you know that Ambrose wasn’t having any of it and made the match start over, banning Maryse from ringside. Balor finished off Miz in quick fashion with a Coup de Grace.

It didn’t take long for Miz to get his revenge, as he put Ambrose in a main event match against Bray Wyatt. Miz came out to commentate the match, nullifying my point in paragraph one; tonight did not break any monotony. Bray Wyatt, again a man without a real feud (no tease of any match with Finn Balor), was used as a mere pawn in the Miz/Ambrose rivalry.

Eventually, The Miz came to the ring, and Ambrose dove right at him. That moment was a perfect metaphor for where they both are right now career wise: Miz walking to the ring for the main event, only to get taken out (Miz hasn’t gotten a WWE Championship opportunity in years, despite having one of the best stints of his career when he was on SmackDown Live), and Ambrose being drawn to the Intercontinental Champion in the middle of a main event match (as if he’s turning his back on any main event opportunity, a literal juxtaposition of his upcoming challenger). Maybe I’m overthinking it — something the WWE writers are allergic to doing. Anyway, Wyatt won the match after Miz hit Ambrose with his own belt while the referee’s back was turned.

Turmoil, shmurmoil

I actually had a mind to think that WWE would give Golden Truth a push after their request for a chance at the WWE Tag Team Championships last week. Goldust has been around for more than 20 years, giving more to the company than just about anyone, and R-Truth has been a consistent part of any WWE Live for for the majority of this century. If anyone deserves a push (especially if you think Goldust is close to retirement and won’t have many more chances for, well, gold), it’s Golden Truth. Turns out it’s just more of the same.

The unlucky draw of starting this match went to Enzo & Cass and Cesaro & Sheamus. Cesaro & Sheamus eliminated Enzo & Cass, then eliminated Heath Slater & Rhyno. The Club was next up, but they got kicked out shortly after. Then it was time for the final team, the Golden Truth. Turns out, there is no golden truth and everything is a lie, as Sheamus & Cesaro finished them off, punching their ticket to a RAW Tag Team Championship Match against the Hardy Boyz. After the match, Matt & Jeff came out to confront their challengers, but Sheamus & Cesaro had enough action for the night as they scampered to the back, avoiding any physical confrontation with the Hardys.

For those keeping track, we are on pace for Extreme Rules to have maybe one or two matches that we haven’t seen before. Think about it. We’ve see the Hardyz vs. Sheamus & Cesaro — in fact we just saw that. We also just saw Reigns and Strowman for the second time, but they are due for a rubber match. We’ve seen Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz three hundred thousand times. Seth Rollins and Samoa Joe … well, you get my gist.

More of the same … again

Seth Rollins and Samoa Joe settled another beef in the ring after Rollins interrupted a Joe interview with by way of a beatdown. In the match, Joe was focused on taking out Rollins’ weak knee, which has taken such a beating these past few months it’s crazy to think that he still is the proud owner of two legs. Eventually, Joe was disqualified after throwing Rollins into an exposed turnbuckle twice. Joe wasn’t done with the violence until he made Rollins pass out. This feud is getting ugly, and it’s one of the few things I look forward to every week.

Highlight reel

• The Mickie James Nostalgia Act lasted as long as her stint in NXT did: one match. When she was brought up to SmackDown Live, she was booked as a heel, forming a bond with Alexa Bliss. She sniffed relevancy only by being involved with matches with top talent like Bliss. Now, on the red brand, the former colleagues faced off, with Nia Jax in Bliss’ corner, and Bayley in James’. If anyone expected James to realistically win this match, you don’t know anything about WWE.
• Braun Strowman did the unthinkable: backed down from a challenge. Sure, his elbow is semi-seriously injured, but the monster of a man is powerful enough to take on anyone, let alone the smallest guy on the roster, Kalisto, with one arm. Kalisto was upset he didn’t get a chance to exact his revenge from the beatdown he received after his Dumpster Match with Strowman a couple weeks ago, which culminated in Kalisto winning the match but almost losing his life by being thrown off the side of the stage by Strowman while inside the dumpster. Unfortunately for Strowman, Roman Reigns didn’t care about Strowman’s injury at all, as he came to the ring and put such a beatdown on Strowman that he actually retreated to the back. I feel like these three minutes alone dismantled all the momentum Strowman has built up this year. Okay, maybe that’s an overreaction, but having your scariest superstar cower away from a fight isn’t very … scary.
• On the Cruiserweight front, TJP (formerly TJ Perkins) faced Jack Gallagher. Gallagher, being in front of his hometown, was obviously the fan favorite to win this match. Unfortunately, WWE hates their fanbase and doesn’t like when their superstars win in their hometown, so of course TJP got the pinfall win by way of a tight grab.
• When you are only a couple months removed from one of the all-time great feuds with Charlotte, to now facing Alicia Fox with no type of storyline surrounding it, you could say Sasha Banks has hit a new career low. She needs to replace Mickie James as the fourth woman in the hunt for the RAW Women’s Championship. Not only would that be great for Banks’ career, it’d also save the WWE some money so they could put out something better than lawn chairs for their live events.
• Without Brock Lesnar (too expensive to go to London), Kurt Angle (whole milk overdose), Stephanie McMahon & Triple H (too good for London), Jericho (brought to SmackDown Live by winning the United States Championship), Charlotte (traded to Smackdown Live) and Kevin Owens (double ditto), this was one of the lamest episodes of RAW since Eugene was a staple competitor. The biggest (and arguably only) takeway was that we now know Cesaro & Sheamus are No. 1 Contenders for the RAW Tag Team Championships. Just a few days removed from Star Wars Day, I’ll say this: help us, Brock Lesnar. You’re our only hope.