What each NBA coach would be doing if he wasn’t an NBA coach
By John Buhler
Scott Brooks: Charles Barkley’s CPA/Accountabilibuddy
In real life, Washington Wizards head coach Scott Brooks and Basketball Hall of Famer/television personality on TNT’s Inside the NBA‘s Charles Barkley were teammates with the Philadelphia 76ers. Brooks was Barkley’s roommate his rookie year in the league back in 1988. This is where his fictitious non-coaching career begins.
After bouncing around the league in the 1990s, Brooks found himself looking for answers about what to do next after his playing career came to an end. Brooks was walking down the street in a shady part of town the early 2000s. He would find a familiar face hanging out in a doorway in a near-pizza induced coma.
Brooks was lost both upstairs and quite literally in that moment. He would ask the rotund figure devouring Domino’s in the entryway, “Where am I?”. The response he got was two life-changing words, “Auburn, knucklehead.” Could it be? Yes, it was. Brooks found Barkley and found his calling, to help a guy out who helped him out back in 1988.
Brooks mostly thrives behind the scenes as Barkley’s CPA/Accountabilibuddy. He still sleeps in that drawer bed he once had in the Barkley Manor. That ‘trundle bed’ was the inspiration for Squeak Scolari’s ‘arrangement’ in the cinematic masterpiece that was Baseketball. Brooks does this out of comfort and to make sure Barkley is doing what he needs to do to get his hot on-air takes just right.
While many would think that Brooks is just Barkley’s assistant, they really are a co-dependent duo that needs the other to survive. Brooks got sick one time and Barkley showed up to the Turner Studios in Midtown Atlanta wearing a lime green shower curtain like he was Cee-Lo Green or something. Does that make Chuck Crazy? No, forget you, knucklehead.
Brooks also needs Barkley in some capacity. Barkley is the necessary mediator between Brooks, Ernie Johnson, and Ted Turner himself. Brooks is really only looking out for Chuck, but can get a little feisty when Ernie, Shaq and Kenny turn him into a fool. The Turner guys just laugh at Brooks for being a knucklehead. Brooks doesn’t make as much as he would as an NBA coach, but he is the one in charge of Sir Charles, or maybe the other way around. We may never know.