Chelsea are your Premier League champions. England’s brave John Terry goes out a hero. How does the rest of the league stand?
20. Chelsea (LW: 11)
If you enjoy pomp and circumstance (or, for some reason, John Terry), then Chelsea’s final match of the season may be for you. Otherwise, there is nothing more irritating than a team locking up the title prior to the last day of the Premier League calendar. Shame on you, Chelsea, and congratulations on an objectively marvelous year.
19. Burnley (LW: 20)
One major reason to watch Burnley in their final match of the season will be Andre Gray, already the subject of much transfer speculation. The striker has been the most appealing Claret all season, and a final performance of note would benefit both man and club in hugely measurable, financial ways.
18. Stoke (LW: 19)
Mark Hughes has the backing of his board, which will come as a great relief to the Potters’ manager. A Peter Crouch goal notwithstanding, there won’t be much to see here.
17. Southampton (LW: 18)
The Saints can fall no further than 11th, assuming, so there’s not much to care about on the pitch. Off it, Virgil van Dijk is going to be among the summer’s hottest commodities, and his future should keep the Saints at least mildly interesting for the next few months.
16. Everton (LW: 13)
Nothing like a late season match against an on-fire Arsenal team to elicit a performance from the Toffees. Having extended their trophy-less streak to nearly 22 years, Everton have become a stage for the antics of Romelu Lukaku, who may very well be headed back to the champions Chelsea in the summer.
15. Bournemouth (LW: 15)
The Cherries enjoyed some monumental times this season, toppling Everton and bringing the fight to Arsenal as well as outplaying Liverpool in one of the better games fans witnessed. A final match day date with Leicester may provide one more enduring memory, but Bournemouth are more or less locked where they are, with all the possibilities of a summer transfer window awaiting.
14. West Ham (LW: 12)
Caught in the glut of middling clubs, West Ham would prefer a win in the final week of the season, if only to instill confidence in Slaven Bilic and, more importantly, Dmitri Payet. Fortunately, Michail Antonio will definitely be around next season, hopefully providing electric scoring runs and Leonardo Di Caprio memes.
13. Tottenham (LW: 6)
Spurs are locked into second; in equally surprising news, reports suggest Meryl Streep is a capable actress and that the sun will rise in the morning. A victory over Hull on the final day would be an italicized period rather than an exclamation point, but it would be a nice boost for Mauricio Pochettino ahead of the summer transfer window.
12. Leicester (LW: 10)
Fittingly, Leicester followed up their improbable title run with an improbable jaunt away from relegation. Craig Shakespeare, I would suspect, deserves a lot of credit for the way the Foxes held up over the second half of the season, but the players themselves have been excellent. To wit: this is likely Riyad Mahrez’s last game with the club, despite what the Football Bard may say.
11. Crystal Palace (LW: 9)
Palace face a Manchester United side who will be focused on the Europa League final on Wednesday. Big Sam Allardyce deserves some acclaim for his job at the helm, and Palace will remain a fun club to watch into next season. This final game may serve as a springboard for bigger, though not necessarily better, things come August.
10. West Brom (LW: 14)
Tony Pulis did an exquisite job of running the Baggies over the first half of the season, but the second half has been a long lull, full of good defense and statement-feeling wins (see: March 18, over Arsenal, which is also their most recent league victory). Facing a desperate Swansea team, even with little to lose themselves, may be just the spark needed to ignite some final fire in West Brom.
9. Manchester United (LW: 5)
United failed to meet expectations in Chairman Mou’s first season at the helm, and now, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is questioning his future. Same as it ever was. Late season showings from young players may pave the way for even higher expectations next season, and Jose Mourinho’s closing press conferences promise to be full of bombast and swagger, warranted or otherwise.
8. Liverpool (LW: 4)
Not yet guaranteed a Champions League spot, Jurgen Klopp will need to direct his squad to a win over Middlesbrough in order to ensure that brand of European play. Not an especially daunting task, but one on which to keep an eye nevertheless.
7. Hull (LW: 1)
Harry Maguire, Sam Clucas and Andy Robertson are all on transfer radars this summer, so each may be looking to pad their respective resumes in the final game this season. Speaking of padding resumes, Marco Silva made a valiant effort at beating the drop, but a win on his way to the Championship may instill confidence in the Hull board.
6. Sunderland (LW: 17)
Better get your Black Cats viewing in now, because that won’t be an in-app purchase you can make while watching the Premier League next season. This will likely be the last time you see Jermain Defoe in a Sunderland uniform, and there is reason to believe he’ll make it count. Namely, his season to this point.
5. Middlesbrough (LW: 2)
Rounding out the relegated-watch candidates is Boro, who never quite measured up to being the sum of their parts. Victor Valdes may be due for greener pastures, as is Ben Gibson. Middlesbrough have one (1) Premier League win this calendar year, so maybe a final week surprise could send their fans off with something like confidence.
4. Watford (LW: 16)
The Hornets are in as bad a position points-wise as Burnley but suffer from a dreadful point-differential, as well as having to face an inspired Manchester City team. Walter Mazzarri will want to secure at least a draw at home to rest easy. This may very well be the match of the weekend.
3. Swansea (LW: 7)
Swansea’s win over Sunderland put them in the unique position of being able to claw out of the relegation zone, provided Watford lend them an unwitting helping hand. The Swans took only three shots, all of them on goal, and both Fernando Llorente and Kyle Naughton came through with goals, sparking hope at Liberty Stadium. Stand up, Wales, for “America’s Club.”
2. Manchester City (LW: 3)
Apparently surprised that he hasn’t been fired yet (in 2017, aren’t we all?), Pep Guardiola finds his club in the driver’s seat for one of the last two Champions League spots. A win over (a desperate) Watford guarantees third in the table, and City will surely pull out all the stops to make that happen.
1. Arsenal (LW: 8)
Another year, another decided title race without the Gunners, another late run by Arsene Wenger’s men to maintain his job. Set your clock to “too little, too late” discussions regarding Arsenal, but that they are the hottest team in the league with the slimmest of chances to slide into the top four make them the team to watch this weekend.