James Harrison’s hips don’t lie (Video)

James Harrison is a football playing cyborg. As the Pittsburgh Steelers automaton approaches 40ish, he has been programmed to work out his hips like this.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady can eat all the avocado ice cream he wants, but he’s not going to play in the NFL forever. However, this is one player that will absolutely do that. Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison is a 39-year-old football playing cyborg.

He’s not really into avocados because you can’t grow those in Pittsburgh. However, he is definitely into working out more than you are. Apparently there is a way to work out one’s hips by yourself. Think of a bench press strugglefest and this is basically what you’ve got from Harrison.

If one does the math, which is suggested in this exercise of understanding Harrison’s exercise, the dude/robot is tossing up at least 720 pounds of steel in the Steel City facilities of the Steelers. Like Shakira did with that dude from The Fugees that one time, Hips DON’T Lie.

Since Harrison is 100 percent an automaton sent back in time to destroy us all, his “core” has to be made out of something called adamantium. Wolverines are allegedly real animals and Logan has been around for a long, long time, but Harrison is going to break somebody next year.

Most human beings can do that motion, but not when the are being crushed by 720 pounds of pure steel. That’s why Harrison will play forever and you’ll never play for the Steelers. To him, this is more 40 than that Judd Apatow movie with that dude from Clueless and Apatow’s wife.

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Is this Elvis Presley workout regiment correlated to Ladarius Green getting cut yesterday? Potentially, as Harrison may be getting programmed to play some tight end for the 2017 Steelers at 39 years of operation. Pittsburgh can rebuild him. The Steelers have the technology. Science wins today in Western Pennsylvania.