Totally implausible 2017 NBA Finals scenarios
The 2017 NBA Finals could go a number of ways. Simplistic thinking says one team will win in four to seven games. We’re not here to think simplistically. We’re here to rank the most implausible and unlikely scenarios pertaining to the outcome of the NBA Finals. Some of these may happen. Most of them will not. But you’re so starved for NBA action right now that you’re willing to give them all a bit of consideration.
The Jack Bauer scenarios
Bucks in Six: How can a team that was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs win the NBA title? Through sheer unmitigated confidence. If you’re not willing to believe the Bucks can win this series in six, then I don’t want you on my team. However, if you know that Giannis Antetokounmpo and company can walk into Golden State, steal a game and win three straight at home, then we can take over the world together. In the words of Dave Chappelle as P. Diddy: “The man can fly. He believes in himself.” If a man can fly from simple belief, Bucks in 6.
Waiters Whenever: Only one man single-handedly defeated both the Warriors and Cavaliers this year. If he wants to show up during the Finals and beat them again, at the same time, no one is stopping him.
The Upside Down Scenario
Cavaliers Sweep: Plenty of people think a Warriors sweep is possible. But maybe we’re living in the Upside Down. Kevin Durant is a bad guy, Donald Trump is President, the Chicago Cubs are World Series Champions. You can’t tell me the world hasn’t gone mad in the past year. Warriors in 4 is the outcome predicted by every LeBron hater or those unwilling to give LeBron a courtesy game out of respect. But Cavaliers in 4 is the pick of the Demogorgon.
The Skankhunt42 Scenarios
Cavaliers blow 3-1 lead: The Cavs going up 3-1 doesn’t seem likely — unless the Warriors allow it. Golden State is so good and so petty that they may allow Cleveland to go up 3-1, just to stage the same comeback they fell prey to last year. After a year of “Blew a 3-1 Lead” jokes, they would be able to turn the tables on every egg on the Internet. It would be a major risk, spotting the defending champions and a team with LeBron a 3-1 lead. But the Warriors have four All-Stars and sense of petty entitlement rarely seen in sports.
Cavaliers blow a 3-0 lead: And that’s why they may take it a step further. Let Cleveland go up 3-0. Blowing a 3-1 lead subjects you to a lot of online ridicule and memes, but it’s been done before in NBA history. A 3-0 lead? No team, in any round ever, has blown a 3-0 lead. If the Cavaliers were to blow a 3-0 lead, no only would we never be allowed to make fun of the 2016 Warriors again, but Twitter may permanently shutdown from how much we make fun of the 2017 Cavs. It would be the greatest troll job of all-time and put an end to the greatest place for trolling. It sounds like a scheme only a group of super villains could pull off.
Next: Who has the most to gain from an NBA Finals win?
The ‘Deadwood’ Scenario
Warriors in Three: After three straight Golden State victories, all by 15 points or more, Adam Silver just decides the series is over. The ratings are great, the players want to play, the arena for Game 4 is filled. Silver takes center court prior to tip-off and is just like, “Nah.” He apologizes for the dull playoffs and promises that next year will be better. He’s never heard from again.