Top 25 NFL mustaches of all time

If you can grow a mustache, why would you not want one? Here are the 25 men associated with the NFL that rock a mustache better than just about anyone.

While being a good person is probably the best quality one can have about being a man, if you can’t be nice, well, then just grow a mustache. If you’re a nice dude with a mustache, you can probably be given your own starring role in an 80’s sitcom, if you have the acting chops of course.

There’s just something about dudes that rock a killer ‘stache. It’s like they’re all in on letting the y-chromosome do it’s thing while being simultaneously ironic. Mustaches were definitely in during the 1970s and 1980s. Now beards and stubble are in, but men will end up rocking a delicious push broom every November because men’s health is important.

Given that the NFL season overlaps Movember, there is a good chance you’ll end up seeing one of your favorite NFL players grow an awesomely bad ‘stache right in time for the holidays.

I’m not technically an expert on the subject, but I look like a rough version of Ryan Fitzpatrick on my best days. Here’s to me having a third of Fitzpatrick’s Wonderlic score (Sweet 16!) the next time around because reading has never been my forte.

Here are the 25 men associated with the NFL that do some good things with the hair follicles residing about their upper lip.

25. Jeff George

Jeff George had a total hose for a right arm. He also had his issues with teammates, the Wonderlic (10 was cute) and especially June Jones when they were with the Atlanta Falcons. George played in the NFL in the early 1990s to early 2000s. Of course he had an awesomely bad mustache at one point.

Mullets and upper-lip peach fuzz were in style, just like not winning games was in style for the Indianapolis Colts pre-Peyton Manning. George’s tenure with the Colts was not a great one. Indianapolis would have a great season or two out of Jim Harbaugh before Manning arrived in 1998. They only thing better than a quarterback that pounds milk like its water is a quarterback that will endorse the you know what out of some Oreos he doesn’t eat.

However, George was definitely better at two things than Harbaugh and Manning: throwing the football as hard as he could forward and growing a dad-ly mustache. Those are two qualities that should correlate to being a good NFL quarterback, but apparently you have to do other things right to win and whatever.

While there is no way he looks like he did in those early years with the Colts fresh out of Champaign-Urbana, part of me wants to believe that version of George could have won Super Bowls if he didn’t go to a highly dysfunctional Colts organization. Then again, George took a hometown discount to play for the Colts. It affected his play, his mullet and his mustache.