11. Conrad Dobler
Conrad Dobler was a three-time Pro Bowl guard playing next to Hall of Fame tackle Dan Dierdorf for the then St. Louis Cardinals in the mid-1970s. He’d play 10 years in the NFL with St. Louis, the New Orleans Saints and the Buffalo Bills.
While he wasn’t a Hall of Fame player, Dobler definitely had a Canton-level mustache. It was such a 70’s ‘stache, draped over his upper-lip area, but not quite to his jaw line. When Dobler was wreaking havoc on the football field, he looked like a cross between Burt Reynolds and Davis Crosby.
He was a hard-nosed guard, getting into all sorts of trouble on the field. Dobler would spit on dudes, kick them and basically serve as the inspiration for Will Ferrell’s character in Kicking and Screaming. Go Tigers, rawr! Could you really blame him though? I’d be pretty fired up if I got to pancake dudes next to Dierdorf for a living, too.
When people want to know what an NFL guard should look like, probably go with Dobler. Every photograph he is in is just incredible. There’s this bravado of pure majestic prowess. Though he didn’t win anything playing for those football teams, his mustache is the menacing football version of Goose Gossage.