Top 25 NFL mustaches of all time

Jul 30, 2016; St. Joseph, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid talks to media after the Kansas City Chiefs training camp presented by Mosaic Life Care at Missouri Western State University. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
Jul 30, 2016; St. Joseph, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid talks to media after the Kansas City Chiefs training camp presented by Mosaic Life Care at Missouri Western State University. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports /
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Jul 30, 2016; St. Joseph, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid talks to media after the Kansas City Chiefs training camp presented by Mosaic Life Care at Missouri Western State University. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports
Jul 30, 2016; St. Joseph, MO, USA; Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid talks to media after the Kansas City Chiefs training camp presented by Mosaic Life Care at Missouri Western State University. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports /

1. Andy Reid

I feel like I didn’t have a choice in the matter. One look at Andy Reid’s Wilford Brimley die-a-beat-us mustache and you’re hooked instantaneously. Outside of botching the last precious seconds of meaningful football games, Reid can probably do no wrong because of that epic mustache of his.

When he gets seconds of whatever he’s eating for dinner, he’s also going to eventually get thirds. That’s because that mustache can most definitely hold enough clubs to solve world hunger or provide Reid with a delicious snack for later when he’s either studying film, being the inspiration for the Kool-Aid guy, or just being the Tron Guy.

The only downside to Reid’s awe-inspiring mustache is that he can’t go to zoos any more. Not because he’s still mad about Harambe, but because he’s been tranquilized at least 15 times for “being an escaped walrus.”

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He’s cool with the walruses though. Reid has named the three at the Kansas City Zoo: Brint, Rufus and Meekus. To Reid, they’re like brothers to him. He’ll occasionally dip out of the exhibit to go get some orange mocha frappuccinos. The Kansas City walruses have never had that delicious treat from Starbucks because Reid just gets back to work as the Chiefs are coming off a bye.