Top 25 NFL mustaches of all time
By John Buhler
1. Andy Reid
I feel like I didn’t have a choice in the matter. One look at Andy Reid’s Wilford Brimley die-a-beat-us mustache and you’re hooked instantaneously. Outside of botching the last precious seconds of meaningful football games, Reid can probably do no wrong because of that epic mustache of his.
When he gets seconds of whatever he’s eating for dinner, he’s also going to eventually get thirds. That’s because that mustache can most definitely hold enough clubs to solve world hunger or provide Reid with a delicious snack for later when he’s either studying film, being the inspiration for the Kool-Aid guy, or just being the Tron Guy.
The only downside to Reid’s awe-inspiring mustache is that he can’t go to zoos any more. Not because he’s still mad about Harambe, but because he’s been tranquilized at least 15 times for “being an escaped walrus.”
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He’s cool with the walruses though. Reid has named the three at the Kansas City Zoo: Brint, Rufus and Meekus. To Reid, they’re like brothers to him. He’ll occasionally dip out of the exhibit to go get some orange mocha frappuccinos. The Kansas City walruses have never had that delicious treat from Starbucks because Reid just gets back to work as the Chiefs are coming off a bye.