WWE RAW Recap, June 12: Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar brawl

The entire roster breaks up Brock Lesnar and Samoa Joe, while Tag Team matches, including the championship main event, owned the night.

Worst Case Scenario

Is it just me, or is there always a feeling deep in your gut that only comes around when Brock Lesnar is promised to appear on your television screen? If you’re familiar with that feeling, you know it gets even stronger when he and his advocate, Paul Heyman, kick off RAW with a chip on their shoulders. The only difference from the norm is this particular chip weighs over 300 pounds. Not since the Undertaker have we seen Lesnar have to face such a scary foe, one who is equally as capable of distributing pain as the Beast.

Heyman wasn’t even that deep into his endless speech of things Brock Lesnar is capable of doing to another human being before Samoa Joe came to confront them both. Joe’s first words came not from his mouth, but from his forehead straight at Lesnar, which sparked a brawl between these two mammoths that finally ended when the entire locker room came out to split them up, and that only worked barely. There are some segments that sell pay-per-views better than others, and you don’t get much better than this.

This match will be billed as the Unstoppable Force vs. the Immovable Object, but what happens when both of these guys are Unstoppable, Immovable Objects of Force? As much as I enjoy Brock Lesnar being Universal Champion, he keeps the belt off of television for too many consecutive weeks in a row; it forces Ambrose and Miz to be the featured championship rivalry for the Intercontinental belt, and I think I speak for everyone when I say I’d rather see 15 minutes of a sloth crawling around the ring than another segment involving those two guys.

Three Men and a Bear

I wouldn’t have bet a dime that Elias Samson vs. Dean Ambrose would be the a Match of the Week nominee, but I also wouldn’t have bet that I’d ever see a Skinny Jean Showdown, so take my gambling advice: don’t ever take my gambling advice.

Samson (with a little distraction from The Miz and Maryse, but so what!?) picked up a huge pinfall win over our newest ex-Intercontinental Champion. Later in the night, despite already (debatably) costing Ambrose his match, Miz requested assistance from RAW GM Kurt Angle, but was ultimately denied by the intense, integrity-ridden, intelligent one.

Miz should have taken solace in the fact that he cost Ambrose his match, but instead he again requested assistance, this time from Heath Slater & Rhyno. Those two have a deep bond, going way back to when Rhyno was just trying to help his buddy earn a Double-Wide, and there was no way they were going to get involved in Miz’s antics. Naturally, this was reason for a tag team match against Slater & Rhyno later in the night, where Miz had to choose his own partner. Also, naturally, Miz’s mystery partner was the bear from last week.

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Even I can’t deny that Miz tagging in the bear and Bear slapping Slater (front AND back-handed) was good comedy. Eventually, Miz ended up standing over the bear, full of certainty that the bear was Ambrose. It wasn’t, but then it was. (It’s really not worth explaining.) Ambrose gave Miz the Dirty Deeds, and put Slater’s limp body on top of Miz’s for the three-count. I hope you’ve enjoyed the 475,089^th straight week of Ambrose/Miz, and I never thought I’d type this, but we were saved by Elias Samson and a bear.

The Bar is Still Set

With two of the biggest slices of the RAW pie having the night off (we were reminded that Finn Balor existed during a short vignette, and later in the show, Michael Cole warned us that Roman Reigns will have a big announcement regarding SummerSlam next week), Kurt Angle gave the keys to the main event to the tag team champions, who put their belts on the line again against the Hardy Boyz, this time in a Two-out-of-Three Falls match. If you weren’t sick of this feud yet, you’re in luck: the match ended in a 1-1 draw after both teams were counted out for the third fall — given the uncertain finish to this match, this feud will most likely continue through Great Balls of Fire (lol).

I have to hand it to Mick Foley: Sheamus & Cesaro are actually a great tag team. While I don’t love them as champions, they’re always going to put on a great match no matter who they work with. As for Matt & Jeff, the nostalgia act still hasn’t worn off, but it’d be nice to see them go against a different pair once SummerSlam season rolls around.

Highlight Reel

• There’s nobody who is able to be more effective in 30 seconds of screen time like Goldust. R-Truth would have another rebuddle later in the show, but once again, is not as effective as Goldust. If R-Truth wants to get an edge over his former tag team partner, he needs to request a match ASAP because these comical monologues are quite one-sided, and hurt R-Truth more than they help.
• The first 205 Live segment of the night, which featured Cedric Alexander fighting Noam Dar to prove that he is, in fact, through with Alicia Fox, fell flat. Alexander defeated Dar with a quick Lumbar Check thanks to a FaceTime distraction by Fox. Yes, it was as lame as it sounds, and I hope Alexander is indeed done with this chapter. (Also — holy hell, Alicia Fox has a shrill voice.)
• Bray Wyatt used his spotlight to call out his next target, who we all could have predicted after last week’s main event shenanigans by Wyatt, Seth Rollins. (Last week, Wyatt’s music hit during Rollins vs. Samoa Joe, distracting the Architect enough to cost him the match.) It was odd hearing the Eater of Worlds sound offended by some petty name-calling by Rollins, but it was enough to summon Rollins to the ring. Wyatt eventually disappeared from the ring, and reappeared on the Titantron, leaving Rollins baffled and confused. Wyatt did not appear impressed that Rollins slayed the King of Kings, and believes Rollins will face the opposite fate when they eventually get in the ring, because Wyatt is “a god.”
• This week, the Titus Brand decided to continue its pursuit of recruiting international talent, as Titus & Apollo Crews arranged for 205 Live’s own Akira Tozawa to be seated in the front row, in order to witness what the Titus Brand is capable of. Once again, Crews fought Kalisto, this match being short, and impactful as Crews hit his finisher on Kalisto for the pinfall win. Tozawa didn’t seem super impressed, especially while Titus literally picked him up by his arms and brought him ringside, and making him victim of a selfie between the two lone representatives of the world’s saddest brand.
• RAW took a page out of SmackDown Live’s book, and put the Women Division’s best in a Six-Woman Tag Team match. At first, it looked like we were going to see Mickie James & Dana Brooke vs. Nia Jax & the RAW Women’s Champ, Alexa Bliss, but then Sasha Banks and Emma came out to really get this party going. The match itself was okay, and told a good story when Alexa Bliss walked off on her partners (Emma was on her and Jax’s team while Banks went the other way), ultimately costing them the match. I’d have liked for multiple segments with these women, especially since there were Roman Reigns and Finn Baloe-sized gaps to fill in the three-plus hours of television, but I do think this advanced the story of Bliss being a badass heel Champion, Sasha returning from her 205 Live demotion, and Emma… showing up.
• Cruiserweight Champion Neville was scheduled for a match against Rich Swann, but due to technical difficulties (a life-threatening Rings of Saturn by Neville), Swann was asleep before the match even started. Instead of having a match, Neville used his allotted time slot to call out the Titus Brand’s newest member, Tozawa. I’m sure we will learn more details about this on Tuesday night.
• This is the second week in a row Cass had been knocked out before his and Enzo’s match against The Club. Standing not so inconspicuously in the background were The Revival, who have been out of action for the past few weeks, but not completely off television. Despite Cass being hobbled, he still competed with Enzo, but didn’t last long as he was taken out of the match, and the Club got their hands on Enzo. Once again, Big Show came to the aid of his little buddy, this time while the Club was pulling him apart like barbecued pork. For someone so larger than life, Big Cass has quite a few insecurities, still thinking that Big Show is a prime suspect in this whodunit. Perhaps if he saw the team in the background, looking oh-so-suspicious while he was KO’d, he’d have somewhere else to aim that blame.