It’s NBA Draft night. Your team is up. You wonder who they’re going to pick. The team needs a backup point guard, and that guy from Kentucky looked pretty good in the Sweet 16 game you watched. You can also never say no to a 3+D player, I guess. They did also work out that center from……Stephen F. Austin? Is that a school? Where is that? Whatever. They seemed to like him.
Here’s Adam Silver. Let’s go. Just get a rotation player. Any will do!
Wait, who? From Where? I’ve seen that name before, but even Silver didn’t seem confident in that pronunciation. He’s from Serbia? Ok, that’ll do, we got the next Jokic! Is that how you say that? Is it “Joe-kich?” “Yo-kich?” “Yo-kick?” And this new guy’s name is twice as long! Oh, man, this dude has way more J’s in his name than I’ve ever seen. Our color commentator is going to screw this up for months.
This happens every year. In a league becoming ever-more worldly, the odds that your team is going to grab someone with a very difficult name to pronounce is getting higher. The chances that guy becomes a major player for you are also rising. That can present a problem. Everyone around the organization, from front office people, to TV and radio guys, to your fellow fans, is going to come up with their preferred way to say the name. Some will sound plausible. Others will…….not. And then right when you think you have it down, Charles Barkley will butcher the name so badly on TNT that it’ll cast doubt on your entire belief system.
[Cut to Raptors fans nodding in unison]
So you want to nail down that pronunciation? Teach the masses how to properly worship your new core piece? We have you covered. Through extensive film study of broadcasters and a degree in basketball linguistics from Kevin Harlan University, we have compiled proper pronunciations for each potentially problematic player in the DX top 100. Any conceivable 2017 NBA Draft pick likely to cause trouble is likely on this list, and we’ll walk you through the pronunciations for each. Luckily, there’s no Giannis Antetokounmpo’s lurking on this list, but still, we’ve got you covered for June 22nd.
Next: Every NBA team's greatest draft pick of all time
Alberto Abalde – Al-BEAR-to A-BALL-day
Bam Adebayo – BAM A-de-BYE-oh
Ike Anigbogu – EE-kay An-ee-BO-goo
O.G. Anunoby – O.G. Ah-new-NO-bee
Jaron Blossomgame – Ja-RON BLAH-some-game
Chris Boucher – Chris BOO-shay
Amida Brimah – Ah-MEE-da BRYE-mah (Pronounced like “rye bread”)
Vlatko Cancar – VLAT-koh CHAN-char
Chance Comanche – Chance Co-MAN-chee
George De Paula – George De POW-la
Sidy Djitte – SID-ee JEE-tay
Damyean Dotson – DAME-ee-an Dotson
P.J. Dozier – P.J. DOE-zher (sh sound but with a z)
Jawun Evans – Ja-WAN Evans
Diego Flaccadori – Diego Fla-ka-DOOR-ee
De’Aaron Fox – Dee-AIR-on Fox
Harry Giles – Harry JIE-les
Isaiah Hartenstein – Isaiah HAR-ten-stine
Wesley Iwundu – Wesley Ih-WON-do
Ognjen Jaramaz – Og-NIEN YAR-a-mahz
Peter Jok – Peter JOCK
Przemek Karnowski – SHEM-mek Car-NOW-ski
Kyle Kuzma – Kyle COOZ-mah
Matthias Lessort – Ma-TEE-ass Le-SORT
Lauri Markkanen – L-OW-ree MAR-ka-nen (like ow, it hurts)
Eric Mika – Eric MEE-ka
Malik Monk – Ma-LEEK Monk
Monte Morris – Mon-TAY Morris
Frank Ntilikina – Frank En-til-i-KEE-na (The “N” isn’t silent)
Semi Ojeleye – SEH-me OH-jah-lay
Anzejs Pasecniks – AHN-Zayz Pa-SESH-nicks (Pa-SECH-nicks appears to also be accepted)
Davon Reed – DAY-von Reed
Nik Slavica – Nik Slah-VIT-sa
Sindarius Thornwell – Sin-DARE-ee-us THORN-well
Aleksandar Vezenkov – AL-ek-san-dar VEZ-en-kov