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15 NBA players you’d like to have on your beer league softball team

By John Buhler

Apr 2, 2017; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward DeMarcus Cousins (0) reacts after a foul is called during the second half against the Chicago Bulls at the Smoothie King Center. The Bulls defeated the Pelicans 117-110. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 2, 2017; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward DeMarcus Cousins (0) reacts after a foul is called during the second half against the Chicago Bulls at the Smoothie King Center. The Bulls defeated the Pelicans 117-110. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports /
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Feb 8, 2017; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia 76ers guard Nik Stauskas (11) reacts to his three pointer against the San Antonio Spurs during the second quarter at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 8, 2017; Philadelphia, PA, USA; Philadelphia 76ers guard Nik Stauskas (11) reacts to his three pointer against the San Antonio Spurs during the second quarter at Wells Fargo Center. Mandatory Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports /

Nik Stauskas

If team has that one guy that is absolutely horrible at everything. He may be a halfway decent rotational player for the Philadelphia 76ers, but Nik Stauskas sure has a lot of gaps in his life athletically. Sure, he can dunk and hit a 3, but does he even know how to throw a baseball correctly?

Reluctantly, Stauskas has agreed to join this beer league softball team with teammate Joel Embiid to become a more well-rounded individual and step out of his comfort zone. Not only is Stauskas driving himself to these games, but he can hold a bat correctly and knows which way to run on the bases. Progress comes when you Trust the Process.

Unfortunately, former tormentor Boogie Cousins plays in front of him at first base when Stauskas is looking for dandelions in right field or something. Stauskas has a new nickname on this beer league team: Triple. As in, every time the ball is hit his direction, it results in a triple and that he’ll never hit one at the plate.

In the second to last game of the season, with the championship game in sight, Stauskas is able to poke the ball over the second baseman’s head to knock in the game-winning run. Everybody celebrates, even Boogie. The only person that isn’t happy about it is Ron Baker, as his beautiful blonde locks have been soaked in disgusting adult beverages. It’s not champagne, but it’ll do.

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