Fansided

15 NBA players you’d like to have on your beer league softball team

By John Buhler

Apr 2, 2017; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward DeMarcus Cousins (0) reacts after a foul is called during the second half against the Chicago Bulls at the Smoothie King Center. The Bulls defeated the Pelicans 117-110. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports
Apr 2, 2017; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward DeMarcus Cousins (0) reacts after a foul is called during the second half against the Chicago Bulls at the Smoothie King Center. The Bulls defeated the Pelicans 117-110. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports /
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Mar 29, 2017; Sacramento, CA, USA; Utah Jazz forward Joe Ingles (2) celebrates after a play against the Sacramento Kingsduring the fourth quarter at Golden 1 Center. The Jazz defeated the Kings 112-82. Mandatory Credit: Sergio Estrada-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 29, 2017; Sacramento, CA, USA; Utah Jazz forward Joe Ingles (2) celebrates after a play against the Sacramento Kingsduring the fourth quarter at Golden 1 Center. The Jazz defeated the Kings 112-82. Mandatory Credit: Sergio Estrada-USA TODAY Sports /

Joe Ingles

The starting catcher and the team captain for this Motley Crue of whatever this is is Australian Jazzman Joe Ingles. Like J.J. Barea messing everything up at second base like he’s the ghost of Chuck Knoblauch or something, Ingles isn’t afraid to get dirty playing behind the dish.

Ingles usually takes at least three foul balls of the face mask per game. He doesn’t get concussed from those foul ticks, but they do tick him off and he will yell at whomever wants to listen to him. Ingles already hates his pitcher/short stop as well as his manager, but we’ll get to that in a bit.

While Ingles can call a good game, he’s got the foot speed of Jake Taylor from Major League and handles the bat about as well as Brad Ausmus did in his playing career for the Houston Astros. Basically, Ingles is excellent at framing pitches, but can’t hit a lick in beer league softball. Doesn’t that mean he’s kind of useless in beer league softball?

Whatever. Ingles is the spirit animal of this ragtag bunch of softball hooligans. To get through another 0-4 day at the plate, Ingles will channel his inner Morris Buttermaker and say some real nice things to the umpire behind him. Ingles wins in every game anyway because he has successfully figured out a way to drink beer inside of his catcher’s mask. Without Ingles, this team resolves into nothingness.

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