25 NASCAR drivers to consider as getaway drivers for that one last heist

Paul Menard

What’s there to say about Paul Menard? Not a lot, because Paul Menard doesn’t say much himself. Menard’s relative lack of words is another running joke even within NASCAR.

But if you’re hiring a getaway driver, isn’t that fantastic? Menard won’t talk back to you when you tell him what to do. And if the worst happens and everyone gets arrested, you know he won’t talk to the cops either. He’s exactly what people mean when they talk about “the strong, silent type.” He’d be the heist crew’s obligatory huge guy who says very little and lurks in dark corners.

Fittingly, when it comes to driving he also tends to end up under the radar more often than not. But Menard did just finish third in the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona and was also fifth in this year’s Daytona 500, so he can have some contending performances, too. If you can catch him on a strong week (or maybe just at Daytona), you have a quality driver on your hands.

And maybe his ability for near total discretion is more valuable than a lengthy resume, depending on what it is you’re trying to steal. If your heist involves sensitive government documents or something else you don’t ever want to speak of again, then Menard’s code of silence makes up for the dearth of career achievements.

Just whatever you do, don’t let him provide his own getaway car. With that neon yellow Menards paint scheme, you’d get noticed in about half a second. If the tire doesn’t explode.