The 6 soccer fans you are most likely to meet

The Contrarian

In layman’s terms, this is what you’d call a “hater.” It’s unjust to call them “fans.” We’re dealing with that special breed of soccer follower that takes entirely too much pleasure from raining on other fans’ parades. Without any emotional ties to a particular team, the contrarian lives to point out shortcomings and go against the grain. Any great goal or team win is condemned as a failure on the part of the opponents. Successes are never a sign of greatness but rather an indictment of the system, the opponent, the playing conditions, the referee, etc.

The math is clear and it always works in the cynic’s favor — most teams will not win the big one this year, next year or in a generation. The contrarian is playing with house money. He can never lose. Tread carefully around this character as he won’t hesitate to pounce once you show any sign of loyalty or devotion to a particular team.

The contrarians are not unique to soccer fandom; it’s very likely you’ve been given numerous warnings that your favorite team in some other sport’s star player is injury prone, that the style of offense employed is outdated, that the owner is a gigantic asshole who doesn’t care about you or the success of the franchise. However, the soccer contrarian can add one more weapon to his arsenal: America is not a soccer country and will never be good at soccer, so why even bother?  If you had just heeded the warnings (read: negativity) you could have saved yourself the trouble and the heartache.

This type of soccer consumer is tiring and usually humorless. Steer clear, if possible.