What would top soccer players be worth in Adam Smith’s barter economy?

Fellaini: Nothing

Fellaini is not worth anything. You would have to pay me to take him off your hands. Nobody wants him. They only way any barter with him works is an NBA-style salary dump trade, where the team receiving him also gets somebody useful in exchange for taking him off their hands.

No item would be worth parting with if it meant that you got Marouane Fellaini in return. Avoid him like you avoid your cousin Mike who says he’s about to break into the rap scene. Actually Fellaini is worse than Mike, because at least Mike isn’t making money for being bad at something.

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You know what Fellaini’s good at? Being tall. That’s not a skill. It could barely even be called a talent. It’s a trait at best. His best quality as a soccer player is something that he had no say in cultivating.

All of the best athletes, in any sport, are known for their effort. Messi will famously never give up on a play. Michael Phelps had to eat sickening loads of carbs to fuel his insane workouts. F1 drivers have to constantly work to keep their body weight at an exact value so as not to mess with their highly-tuned machines. These people put in work.

Fellaini has as much discipline and focus as someone doing work with the YouTube tab open. Look at this miss from earlier this week: 

His eyes drift from the ball to the goal aimlessly. He’s not focused on his first touch, nor his he really planning what to do with the ball once he gets it. Fellaini is thinking about how easy it is, and then he fails.

He still has a job because he’s not the worst. There’s no denying that he’s better at soccer than me or you. Unless literally any professional soccer player is reading this.