Not sure if they’re related, but that doesn’t matter. Boog Powell is gonna meet Boog Powell and they’re gonna eat some meat and make baseball fun this week.
When you’re passionate about things that matter like politics or sports, you tend to name your cats and maybe your kids after politicians or athletes. One time, my aunt and uncle named their mean cat that scratched Little Buhler all the time after that guy that lost to the Bush president with the socks, Michael Dukakis. I’d be mad if lost to a team with Dan Quayle on it, too.
Another time, I might have been mostly responsible for naming my friends cat after Georgia running back Todd Gurley. In 2013, there was no better name for an Athens cat than Todd. We might have also drawn inspiration from this scene in Wedding Crashers should anything bad happen to Gurley like an ACL tear or an autograph suspension. That’s no good, Todd. I don’t know what you gotta be so morose about all the time.
Well, there was this Powell Family that took it to the next level like Dale Denton did as a process servant in that movie with James Franco and that Kenny Powers guy that was pounding wine coolers in his bathroom cranking some Bone Thugs. Not a bad way to go out, if we’re being totally honest here.
Which is what we do here when we try to make baseball fun each and every week for ya. This week it was about four things mostly: Boog Powell barbecue treat parties down on
Utah
Eutaw Street, not winning no-hitters, second-tier Gatorade baths and digging the long ball in the ATL once again. Pictures, YouTube videos. Let’s Go!
Boog Powell party time on Eutaw Street
When you name your kid after Boog Powell, you knew that they were gonna have to meet one day. So they might gonna meet eating some delicious barbecue ribs on Eutaw Street. Just make sure that the recently retired NFL star Vince Wilfork is there in the finest blue overalls to serve it up on behalf of Kingsford. Charlie Kelly might no a thing or two about Denim Chicken, but nobody is better with the tongs that your boy Wilfork.
Pretty much if it begins with a B, it’s probably a good thing like baseball, BBQ ’cause it’s got two B’s in it, Boogs, Buhler and Boyz II Men. There may be a few things that begin with the letter B that aren’t great, but were not counting those today. Because today, Eutaw Street and not Arby’s has the meats for this Boog Powell treat party you were absolutely definitely not invited to. Sad Panda.
This is a crazy world we live in, so just be happy that this event could have happened. Hopefully it’s not as disappointing as Chinese Democracy, a GNR reunion or Axl Rose’s ankles. Welcome to the Jungle, we’ve got onion rings. Can I take your p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-please? Puh-paw, puh-puh please don’t hurt me. It’s cool Tug Speedman ’cause Matthew McConaughey’s got your TiVo alright, alright, alright.
Rich Hill is the greatest loser of all time
Dodgers pitcher Rich Hill was the King of his Hill just the other day. He was firing on all cylinders with the finest gas Strickland Propane that could ever come out of Arlen, Texas. Yep, yep. We have to expect that Dale Gribble new all about that conspiracy that was taking place with Hill not being able to win that game he was most excellent, Rufus in.
So what if he had no hits and still lost? Doesn’t that just sound like every terrible garage band ever existed? You just can’t pull My Sharona, Whip It, or even Louie, Louie out of thin air. I mean The Refreshments did even half to sing to almost make it big. They rode on Hill’s back like his old high school football team.
At least the Dodgers are probably going to win the World Series. NOBODY audibled at the line of scrimmage quite like Boomhauer. Where do you think Peyton Manning derived Omaha from? Exactly!
Blue Jays Gatorade baths
I mean, if you don’t have the distinct players of getting a delicious Coffee Mate bath from Dirty Mike Trout and the Boys, maybe Gatorade baths are the way to go if you like SUGAR! in your hair? Coffee Mate comes out a little bit easier than whatever happened in that talk radio session in Will Ferrell’s Prius that one time.
Maybe you can’t get Coffee Mate into Canada because of a non-dairy creamer nationwide is not on your side embargo? How dare you try to Sabotage Tim Horton’s undeniably magnificent coffee during a many Blue Jays games!
Plus, you can freeze Gatorade whether or not you bathe in it, flood your back yard with it and play some ice hockey on it. You do realize that the Maple Leafs have never been able to take the cliché Gatorade bath before. Last time they won a Cup, The Who Sold Out and the Axis our weird world was spinning on was Bold As Love.
Teenagers going yard at SunTrust
If you’re a tortured Atlanta Braves fan like me, we all know these three things matter more than The Clash. 1.) Division titles are the best kind of championships. EXTREMELY underrated. 2.) Hank Aaron is the true home run champion. RIP Craig Sager. 3.) Chicks will always dig the long ball.
New SunTrust Park is little more hitter friendly than the Braves Way anticipated. Balls are just flying out of this new baseball establishment for The Bravos. So much that a local kid decided he was going Whammy! into that left-field bleachers like he’s Chipper Jones or something.
Like what we you doing at 13 years old that was a 100th of a percent as cool as this? Nothing. Your hair was greasy, your face was terrible, your voice was not cooperative, and you doused yourself in Axe after gym class because Coffee Mate and Gatorade were not available.
Next: 30 richest players in MLB
Last word: Bartolo Colon successfully beat every team in baseball at least once. He did so during this week that had the eclipse in it. Clearly, this is a sign that every MLB stadium needs a Colon statue in front of it. Let’s get a Go Fund Me going. First statue is going in Milwaukee because why not?