10 people you meet at the first college football game of the season
By John Buhler
College football is upon us! If you are so lucky to go to the season opener of your favorite team this year, here are 10 types of fans you’ll run in to.
With Labor Day weekend just a few days away, that means it’s time for major college football to be our main focal point on fall Saturdays. If you have a favorite team or just love college athletics in general, this is a most glorious time of the year.
It’s a time where everybody thinks their bad, underachieving football team can win. If you attended or currently do attend that school, you throw around the “We’re going to the Playoff” sort of talk as you sling a wobbly spiral to your friends in between sips of your delicious game day beverage of choice.
There’s really nothing like what you’ll see on fall Saturday at a football powerhouse. Frankly, your school might be better at basketball, but everybody enjoys getting together to watch some gridiron action. College football fans are some of the most passionate in all of sports. It’s great to watch this rejoice when it’s going great and sigh when it’s absolutely not.
Some of these Week 1 games are going to be amazing. If you are lucky enough to have a ticket or have the opportunity to get up to State University for a game against Directional School Tech, you are absolutely going to run into these 10 types of people. People watching is half the fun of the first college football game of the year. Enjoy!
The Clueless Freshman
Freshman are dumb and they stick out like an eyesore everywhere they go. The Clueless Freshman did not grow up a college football fan. Clueless Freshman’s parents didn’t go to a football school, but were very impressed with the curriculum this fine state university can provide for their oldest child.
Decked out in his off-white orientation t-shirt with his room key lanyard dragged out of his baggy cargo shorts pocket, you know this poor kid stands no chance of walking into a 90,000-seat stadium. Situated in the upper deck, the guy forgets to wear sunscreen and gets roasted like a lobster before halftime in the 90-degree heat.
Stumbling onto the concourse after being beaten by the sun in a game he knows maybe one player playing in, he decides that it would be really nice to have an overpriced cup of Coca-Cola during halftime. He waits in line for 15 minutes for a drink he could have gotten free on his meal plan ticket.
Trying to impress a girl who is better dressed than him, he buys two Cokes for $15. As he walks down the bleachers, he trips on his lanyard/cargo shorts combo, spilling both drinks and scraping his knee in the process. He gets up, walks back to his dorm and plays X-Box while eating pizza. The poor kid had enough college football for one day…