10 people you meet at the first college football game of the season
By John Buhler
The Shameless Homer
The Shameless Homer loves three things: his favorite college football team, swallowing all the points his team lays and betting the over. No matter if this team hasn’t been bowling in half a decade, Homer truly believes that State is going to beat every team by 50 points this year.
He doesn’t follow recruiting outside of this school. Homer fails to realize that there’s a buzzsaw coming to town Week 3 that State has zero chance of beating. State hasn’t beaten Blue-Blood U in 15 years, but Homer has called into every talk radio station this summer saying he likes State’s chances at winning. He doesn’t see this as an upset because he truly believes State is the best team ever assembled.
This is the same guy that tries to start the wave every time there is a break from the action. He will occasionally throw in an expletive-laden rant at the refs for blowing a call on a play where State’s quarterback made the worst decision of his life on that terrible pick-six.
Homer gets all mad when State loses 53-7 and is out a couple of K to his bookie because he’s good for a sucker bet every single time. In defeat, Homer will key an opposing fan’s car and make a scene downtown after the game. While he doesn’t get arrested by the campus police, he finds a way back to his home and cries himself to sleep after a brutal Week 1 loss has wrecked State’s chances of winning the College Football Playoff.