Fansided

10 great NBA players and the conspiracy theories they could make you believe

By Shea Corrigan

TOPSHOT - A commercial plane of German airline Lufthansa leaves a contrail on the sky on April 3, 2017 above the Swiss Alps resort of Verbier. / AFP PHOTO / Fabrice COFFRINI (Photo credit should read FABRICE COFFRINI/AFP/Getty Images)
TOPSHOT - A commercial plane of German airline Lufthansa leaves a contrail on the sky on April 3, 2017 above the Swiss Alps resort of Verbier. / AFP PHOTO / Fabrice COFFRINI (Photo credit should read FABRICE COFFRINI/AFP/Getty Images) /
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Grizzlies
LOS ANGELES, CA – NOVEMBER 4: Mike Conley /

2. Mike Conley: Stevie Wonder Can See

Stevie Wonder has been blind his entire life and has also spent his entire life racking up evidence that he can, in fact, see. There’s the mic-stand catch. The Oprah hug. The alleged Boy George strangling. The avid NBA game courtside attendance. The Dancing With the Stars ambition. The childhood pranks he somehow accomplished without any help. The picture of him taking a picture!!

Then, there are the number of celebrities, at least two, including but not limited to Anthony Anderson and P. Diddy, who have stories of Stevie acting like he can see. Walking straight up to them. Discussing the color of their clothes and the candy on their walls. (Diddy has a candy room, it’s not important.) This is all complicated by the fact that Stevie Wonder has long been aware of the conspiracy, so who is to say he’s not using it as a cover — pretending it’s a joke — to push the boundaries of what he can get away with, like saying he wants to be a TMZ photographer.

Stevie Wonder is definitely blind and also definitely can see. (Blindness, of course, exists on a spectrum, so this isn’t that wild of a statement.) We can agree that Stevie is not completely blind and also continue to go on pretending he is, because Stevie Wonder is a national treasure and if blindness is his truth, then blindness is his truth.

We can also all agree that Mike Conley is a great basketball player and continue to not really talk about it. That’s fine. Conley is one of those players who appears frequently in the underrated-player conversations to the point that you wonder whether that still counts as underrated, but ultimately you agree that he is underrated because he has never played in an All-Star game or been named All-NBA even though he’s kept the Grizzlies playoff-competitive through a multi-season, never-ending identity crisis, including a very memorable victory against the first-gen death-lineup Warriors not long after he was compulsively vomiting out of his stuck-shut mouth while blood streamed out his nose and his eyes were all swollen, because that’s what happens when CJ McCollum’s forearm breaks your face.

Anyways. Mike Conley is Stevie-Wonder-can-see good.

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