10 great NBA players and the conspiracy theories they could make you believe
9. James Harden: Contrails are Chemtrails
Look into the sky and gaze upon the chemtrails. Sure, scientists say that the clouds coming from planes are just condensed water vapor, rightfully called contrails, which is short for condensation trails.
But chemtrails! Chemtrails are contrails loaded with mysterious chemicals the government — or maybe the New World Order, or maybe Lizard People, who is to say — are using for nefarious and undetermined purposes. You can tell their chemtrails because they are thicker and linger longer than the contrails of yesteryear. Most believers think chemtrails are a form of mind control, though some believe the government is poisoning the country to weed out the sick and elderly instead. (Other potential purposes: barium drops for radar mapping, weather manipulation and well-intentioned but still covert attempts to counteract global warming by spraying particles to reflect the sun’s radiation and rebuild the ozone layer.) And that’s kind of it! That’s the chemtrails conspiracy.
Everyone agrees [some kind of ]trails exist, it’s just what they’re trailing, and whether it’s right and moral, that’s up for debate.
James Harden, 2017 runner-up MVP, is great at the sport of basketball, on that we can all agree — it’s just what he’s doing, and whether it’s right and moral, that’s up for debate.
In the air travel (!) hub of Houston, Texas, Harden is doing exceptional things for the Rockets. After the aforementioned almost-MVP year, he is currently averaging 35.3 points and 10.3 assists a game and the Rockets have the second-best record in the league. He is, uh, doing great. However, there are people who question Harden’s greatness, specifically the makeup of his game. He is an offensive force, but his skeptics point to whatever he deigns to pass off as defense and prefer to interpret his elite skill drawing fouls (and the defensive quandary said skill begets) as simple flopping. One man’s strategy/water vapor is another man’s flop/mind control poison.
James Harden is contrails-are-really-chemtrails good.