The Table Doesn’t Lie: Someone tell Arsenal to stop missing
Arsenal lost to Manchester United despite a dominant performance, while West Ham fell into the relegation zone.
20. Swansea (preseason prediction: 17th, difference: -3)
19. West Ham (10th, -9)
18. Crystal Palace (11th, -7)
17. West Brom (12th, -5)
16. Huddersfield (18th, +2)
15. Newcastle (14th, -1)
14. Bournemouth (8th, -6)
13. Stoke (16th, +3)
12. Brighton (20th, +8)
11. Southampton (9th, -2)
Has there ever been a greater contrast between two coaches than the one at the Etihad on Sunday? Pep Guardiola on one end, gesticulating into oblivion, so overwhelmed by passion he is probably at this very moment screaming at some poor fellow on the street, insisting he must express himself, must play with the attacking freedom that is his right, as a player and a human being. David Moyes on the other, thousand-yard-staring in the direction of the halfway line, players occasionally flitting into view, but never truly seen, trying to pinpoint, presumably, the specific moment it came to this.
In the larger context of Moyes’ post-Everton career, West Ham’s 2-1 loss to Manchester City was a veritable ray of sunshine. The Hammers were good in the first half, against the best team in the league no less, only to watch their good work come painfully, inevitably undone as the home side moved steadily through the gears in the second half. David Silva’s 83rd-minute winner — this was the third game in a row City have won with a goal scored after the 80th minute — seemed inevitable, but that didn’t make it feel any less cruel. Still, there was maybe a sliver of something to build on, and Moyes will need to start building soon.
West Ham are now 19th, three points from safety and without a win since Sept. 30, when they beat the only team currently below them in the league, Swansea. But all is not yet lost. There’s plenty of time, plenty of bad teams and the Hammers, for all their significant flaws have some good, difference-making players. Manuel Lanzini, Michail Antonio, Chicharito (when he’s fit), Marko Arnautovic, even Andy Carroll — they’re all capable of winning a match, or at least a match against the 10-14 teams in the league that could slip into the relegation battle at any moment.
But relegation battles are depressing by nature. You lose a lot of games. You concede a lot of goals. And for all the success Moyes enjoyed at Everton, it’s hard not to wonder at this point whether he’s got the force of personality to change the mood of this squad, let alone the mood of the club. It’s a hard thing to explain how a manager suddenly becomes bad at his job, but it’s been five years since the Hammers’ fearless leader enjoyed a good season, and if he doesn’t spark a turnaround soon, his Everton days may start to feel more like the exception than the rule.
10. Everton (7th, -3)
9. Leicester (15th, +6)
8. Watford (13th, +5)
7. Burnley (19th, +12)
6. Tottenham (4th, -2)
5. Arsenal (6th, +1)
4. Liverpool (3rd, -1)
3. Chelsea (5th, +2)
2. Manchester United (2nd, –)
1. Manchester City (1st, –)
When Arsenal lost 3-1 to Manchester City a month ago, they did an excellent job convincing themselves they deserved more from the match than they got, what with the fact one of City’s goals was offside and another was a dubiously-awarded penalty. Where their argument really broke down, however, was in its failure to recognize City’s superiority in every phase of play for the entire 90 minutes. But such is the dominance of Pep Guardiola’s side, having legitimate complaints with the referee is not an altogether terrible substitute for an actual, real life win.
The Gunners were at it again against the other, less good Manchester club on Saturday, losing 3-1 at home to United, despite dominating — really dominating — the match, amassing 33 (33!) shots in the process, which is more shots than Swansea’s entire squad have even thought about taking this season (maybe). Still, credit where it’s due, David de Gea was superb. “It’s a win. The team defended well for 90 minutes,” he said after the match, proving it’s possible to be the best keeper in the world and to have literally no idea what good defending is at the very same time.
This was a sensational, stupid game, the kind of game that makes you wonder why we spend all this time analyzing managers and players and tactics when, hang on, wait, HOLY MOTHER OF GOALMOUTH SCRAMBLES HOW HAS HE MISSED THAT!?!? Alexandre Lacazette, who was absolutely not going to start this match on account of a groin injury he picked up midweek, played 90 minutes and racked up seven whole shots by himself, which, if you exclude Tammy Abraham, is still more shots than Swansea’s entire squad have even thought about taking this season (maybe).
Among the many excellent things about this game was the way it flipped the pregame script on its head, and then back again, and then ripped it up and threw it under the bus Jose Mourinho used to take to matches like this. The question heading into Saturday was whether we’d finally see Mourinho attack another top-six side away from home. The answer appeared to be yes for 15 minutes and then it appeared to be why have the team with the best defensive record in the Premier League not done any defending for 85 minutes? Which isn’t an answer at all, but another question.
Next: 25 best club soccer teams of all time
It was interesting, too, to see the mental gymnastics many commenters performed in order to reinterepret Mourinho’s reputation to fit the 50 different narratives that appeared, at one point or another, like they might emerge from the match victorious. The upshot seems to be that when Mourinho’s team defend well they are to be criticized, and when they defend badly they are to be praised. This is a close cousin to another, possibly dumber upshot, which is that not defending is the same thing as attacking. Anyway, United need Eric Bailly and Phil Jones back, but also this was the sort of game where United could have played peak Nemanja Vidic and Jesus Christ himself at center-back and it probably wouldn’t have made a difference.
But the story of this game belongs to Arsenal. Poor Arsenal, seeking what would have been their fourth win in a row, and a statement win at that, a compelling case they deserve to be taken seriously as contenders for the title of league’s best team except for Manchester City. They huffed and they puffed and they even blew the house down. And then they missed, shot after shot after shot, until it was time for Paul Pogba to steal the show, in the 63rd minute, beating Laurent Koscielny with a truly diabolical change of pace, just as he was running out of pitch, emerging with the ball out nowhere at all to play in Jesse Lingard for United’s third goal, from only their fourth shot on target. Then he got sent off.