The force is strong in the post: The NBA equivalent for every Star Wars film

Episode II — Attack of the Clones is The Malice at the Palace

Attack of the Clones is the worst of all the Star Wars movies.

Roger Ebert derides the awfulness of this film in his review.

The film is boring. Spending long stretches of time on explanation, not on the action for which Star Wars films of past were beloved. Ebert described it as:

"…most of that first hour consists of dialogue, as the characters establish plot points, update viewers on what has happened since “Episode I,” and debate the political crisis facing the Republic. They talk and talk and talk. And their talk is in a flat utilitarian style: They seem more like lawyers than the heroes of a romantic fantasy."

The acting is clunky, described by Ebert as “so strangely stiff and formal in their speech that an unwary viewer might be excused for thinking they were the clones, soon to be exposed.”

Ouch. That would have been a funny twist though.

The movie spends too much time on a forced romance between Anakin Skywalker and Padme Amidala, made all the more unbelievable by the strange dialogue and unnatural performances.

The movie contains a huge battle in an arena between the Republic’s clone army and the Droid Army of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Nobody really knows what that means because the movie was so boring and terrible and impossible to follow up until this point.

Attack of the Clones is a punch in the face to Star Wars fans.

November 19, 2004, is a day that will live in NBA infamy. The Pacers led the Pistons 97-82 with just under a minute to go when a shoving match between Ron Artest and Ben Wallace turned ugly.

Artest committed a hard foul on Wallace and the big guy did not appreciate the future Mr. World Peace’s tough defense in the blowout. The two had some words for each other, exchanged some shoves, and had to be separated by their teammates, coaches, and officials.

Artest removed himself from the situation on the floor, and while lying down on the scorer’s table was hit with a plastic cup of Diet Coke thrown by a fan.

And then all hell broke loose.

Players went into the stands, fans came onto the floor, dogs and cats were living together it was mass hysteria.

The fallout saw indefinite suspensions handed down from the NBA to Artest, Wallace, Stephen Jackson, and Jermaine O’Neal, calling their actions “shocking, repulsive, and inexcusable.” Artest ended up serving the longest suspension for an on-court incident in NBA history, a total of 86 games (73 regular season contests, 13 in the playoffs.)

It truly is a low-point in NBA history and cast a shadow over relations between the league and fans for a time to come.

“The dark side clouds everything.”