Every Winter Olympic sports perfect theme song

WENGEN, SWITZERLAND - JANUARY 12: Matthias Mayer of Austria in action during the Audi FIS Alpine Ski World Cup Men's Combined on January 12, 2018 in Wengen, Switzerland. (Photo by Alain Grosclaude/Agence Zoom/Getty Images)
WENGEN, SWITZERLAND - JANUARY 12: Matthias Mayer of Austria in action during the Audi FIS Alpine Ski World Cup Men's Combined on January 12, 2018 in Wengen, Switzerland. (Photo by Alain Grosclaude/Agence Zoom/Getty Images) /
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PARK CITY, UT – DECEMBER 31: Sarah Hendrickson celebrates after winning the U.S. Womens Ski Jumping Olympic Trials on December 31, 2017 at Utah Olympic Park in Park City, Utah. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)
PARK CITY, UT – DECEMBER 31: Sarah Hendrickson celebrates after winning the U.S. Womens Ski Jumping Olympic Trials on December 31, 2017 at Utah Olympic Park in Park City, Utah. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images) /

Nordic Combined: “Ice, Ice Baby” – Vanilla Ice

Until the other day, I had no idea what the Nordic Combined was. I just assumed that it was people doing multiple things in the cold to Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song”. Well, turns out, I was really wrong about that. Basically, it’s two events like the Biathlon, but it’s ski jumping and cross-country skiing.

To me, that means one thing: ice, ice baby as in Vanilla Ice Ice Baby. When the IOC decided to stop, collaborate and listen and come up with this brand new invention, no, the world outside of probably Scandinavia were not ready for this. But then again, do you think the world was ready for Vanilla Ice to sample Queen and David Bowie and rap over it in the early 1990s?

The bass line that John Deacon decided back in the 1980s was good enough for riding out mostly one note could be contrived into being what it sounds like before a ski jumper flies forever in the sky. Cross-country skiing is mostly on ice, ice, baby anyway. I think this song could work better than Derek Huff’s iconic lip-syncing cover at the talent show.

I mean, it is a collaborating between two similar Winter Olympic events. You’re technically skiing in both and you’re doing it mostly on ice for booth. That Vanilla Ice song is so nice, he put Ice twice in the title. Frankly, we wanted to get the rights to the Led Zeppelin song, but Misters Plant, Page and Jones only cleared it for School of Rock. Where’s Jack Black when you need him most?