The 2018 30-team NBA mega-trade that solves nothing and makes everyone mad

All 30 teams are looking for something at the NBA Trade Deadline. So why not throw them all into one big mega-trade and see if we can’t make everyone happy?

The problem with NBA trades is that they never seem to work out well for both sides. Someone always ends up getting less than a fair return and often both teams wind up worse for the wear. I thought it might be fun to try and spread that disappointment out a little this season and frame a trade that would involve all 30-teams. I am actually not sure if this is legal under the CBA but my proposal at least works for every team from a salary-in and salary-out perspective.

There are winners and losers here. I did my best to solve at least some problem for each team but I the degree to which I succeeded varied (and, to be fair, it’s arguable whether I succeeded at all). If you’re looking at your team and wondering why they would agree to what I’ve proposed, the answer is: I needed to involve every team because that’s the silly framework I set for myself. Relax, I’m not your team’s actual GM.

Also, take note of the publish time because this is sure to be rendered moot in about five minutes once another actual deal is finalized. In the meantime, enjoy my 30-team NBA mega-trade that solves nothing and makes everyone mad!

Atlanta Hawks

Sending out: Ersan Ilyasova (WAS), Marco Belinelli (NOP), Kent Bazemore (ORL)

Bringing in: Al Jefferson (IND), Jodie Meeks (WAS), Bismack Biyombo (ORL), Alex Len (PHX), 2018 first-round pick (WAS)

The Atlanta Hawks are in a full-on rebuild and are likely years away from playoff competitiveness. This gives them an opportunity to take on some money and fill roster slots with cast-offs from other teams, in exchange for additional assets. Ilyasova and Belinelli are expiring deals and neither would likely be brought back by Atlanta. Bazemore is a fan favorite but his deal is lengthy and well outpaces his production.

In exchange for sending those three out, Atlanta takes on some dead money in Jefferson, Meeks and Biyombo. The latter’s deal is enormous but he’s useful as a defensive center in spot minutes and the Hawks are at least two or three years away from using those dollars on something more useful in their rotation. The assets they pick up are an extra pick in this year’s draft, likely outside the lottery, from the Wizards. They also get a chance to audition Alex Len. He is a restricted free agent this summer so they could bring him back if they like his fit next to John Collins. If the Hawks wind up with a premier big man in the draft like DeAndre Ayton, or they don’t like what they see from Len, they can cut him loose quickly or perhaps sign him to a reasonable deal and try to flip him later.