What each NFL coach’s everyday job would be

Matt Nagy: Aspiring improv comic

There are numerous reasons to move to Chicago. Coaching the Bears, for example, or attending college. But the Windy City is another major draw for its theatre and comedy scenes, and it’s the latter that attracted Matt Nagy. Though his goal is to study at the Second City and perhaps make a move to New York City (to try out for Saturday Night Live, eventually) or to Los Angeles (to write movie or sitcom scripts), he’s currently taking introductory classes at the iO.

It’s not going so great so far: Nagy’s devotion to the “yes, and” approach to improv has led him to a few increasingly strange Uber rides and little else. But it’s still early and his parents haven’t yet started badgering him about what they’re spending all that money on, anyway.

Matt Patricia: Edged weapons expert

Many people go through a phase in which knives and swords—especially historical and literary recreations—seem exceedingly cool. But some, like Matt Patricia, never get over it and instead choose to make it their life’s work. Patricia has an extensive collection, yes, but he also knows how to use them, thanks to many years of martial arts weapons training, traveling the renaissance fair circuit and, of course, running the premiere blog on edged weapons, “Sharp Pokey Things.”

But all this knowledge has resulted in Patricia’s career taking an interesting turn. He’s now one of the judges on the History Channel show “Forged in Fire,” slamming competitors’ knives, broadswords and other various, obscure metal weaponry into tree trunks and silicone ballistic dummies. This is how nerds do “jock,” and how jocks do “nerd.”