Fansided

What each NFL coach’s everyday job would be

By Andrea Hangst

SEATTLE, WA - DECEMBER 17: Head coach Pete Carroll (L) of the Seattle Seahawks is congratulated by head Coach Sean McVay of the Los Angeles Rams at CenturyLink Field on December 17, 2017 in Seattle, Washington. The Rams beat the Seahawks 42-7. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
SEATTLE, WA - DECEMBER 17: Head coach Pete Carroll (L) of the Seattle Seahawks is congratulated by head Coach Sean McVay of the Los Angeles Rams at CenturyLink Field on December 17, 2017 in Seattle, Washington. The Rams beat the Seahawks 42-7. (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images) /
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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – FEBRUARY 02: Head coach Sean Payton of the New Orleans Saints attends SiriusXM at Super Bowl LII Radio Row at the Mall of America on February 2, 2018 in Bloomington, Minnesota. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM)
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – FEBRUARY 02: Head coach Sean Payton of the New Orleans Saints attends SiriusXM at Super Bowl LII Radio Row at the Mall of America on February 2, 2018 in Bloomington, Minnesota. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM) /

Sean Payton: Game show host

“Welcome to Pick-a-Number, America! I’m your host, Sean Payton and together we’re going to have a blast tonight as we watch our contestants…. Pick! A! Number! That’s right, four aspiring ten-thousandaires will be competing tonight to guess the number between 1 and 47 that I’m thinking of. If they get it right, cash and prizes will be theirs! Get it wrong and they go home empty-handed but for the immense sense of shame that can only come from guessing an incorrect number on live, national television! I’m Sean Payton, let’s get these numbers… picked!”

Dirk Koetter: Airline pilot

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers mascot might be a swashbuckling pirate and their home stadium features a pirate ship, but head coach Dirk Koetter isn’t about the terrestrial or aquatic pursuits. No, he’s all about navigating the friendly skies, helping frustrated adults, screaming babies and, on occasion, an emotional support peacock make it safely from point A to point B, or at least to the purgatory that is Hartsfield-Jackson airport in Atlanta.

With in-cabin quips like “This is your speaking pilot… I mean, your pilot speaking,” and “Don’t be wasteful and scream when the oxygen masks drop,” he’s known for being quite the cutup. Koetter is also known for his terrible flight efficiency; his planes have arrived at their destinations on-time just 45 percent of the time, yet no one knows why, not even him.