2. Phoenix Suns
This one is just mean. We know the Suns are not going to give up Devin Booker, but everyone else should be available. Maybe Marquese Chriss’ recent play keeps him safe and they don’t want to give up on Elfird Payton just yet.
And that’s why this is just mean.
Kawhi Leonard, sharing the court with Booker, Chriss, and Payton. If you think Leonard works hard on defense in San Antonio, imagine him trying to cover up for the mistakes of those three. It’d be like those Jackie Chan movies where Jackie Chan fights off 12 dudes by himself while his partner just chills and wonders why this dude is expending so much effort when the only thing that matters is scoring 80 points.
The Suns have some useful players and the Spurs would turn them into great players because Spurs. T.J. Warren would be the small forward version of Tony Parker where it’s nothing but floaters and midrange shots. Josh Jackson would transform into Joshua Jackson’s character from The Might Ducks movies, Charlie Conway. The ultimate leader and team player with the clutch gene embedded into him. Dragan Bender would legitimately bend dragons before being recruited by the White Walkers. They’d remind you that Brandon Knight is still in the league and he was injured before it was cool to be injured in 2017-18.
And the Suns would likely ruin Kawhi. He’d forget how to play defense or just realize that it’s not worth it because scoring 70 points in a loss is more memorable than collecting five steals and two blocks in a win. He’d get tired of passing the ball to Booker in Phoenix’s quest to have him average 35 points on the season. He’d start to see why Charles Barkley and Shaq got so out of shape during their time in the organization.
If the Spurs trade Kawhi to Phoenix, we’d have to take the Team Petty crown from whatever team LeBron James is on and award it to San Antonio.
This would be a terrible idea for all parties involved. But if you’re Phoenix, what else you gonna do?