NHL goalie masks can be artful, fascinating or sometimes downright terrifying. On Friday the 13, we decided to take a look at the 25 best ones ever.
Welcome to another lovely day. Birds are chirping, the smell of springtime grass is in the air and summer beaches are preparing for population. Oh, it’s also Friday the 13, which means free reign to scare the daylights out of you. At FanSided, we’re never above that. Apparently, neither are NHL goalies. They live to make their fans buy new underpants.
We love our goalies. They are truly the Rodney Dangerfields of hockey. They get zero respect in the draft (seriously?), they often make far less cash while getting pelted in the attic, and we tend to dump our blame on them first when things aren’t going right.
Most of all, though, it’s that mask, some of which are truly frightening concoctions designed by the netminders themselves. That makes sense. We feel that coaches often stick them in net at an early age to begin with because they don’t, ahem, play well with others.
But hey, anyone who goes into an arena full of opposing fans wearing an “I’m a lunatic” helmet is alright by us. With that, and in no particular order, let’s take a look at the 25 strangest, scariest and most bizarre noggin protectors ever assembled.
No. 25: The Gerry Cheevers stitch mask
Why not start with a classic? Just look at that beloved piece of insanity. If ever there was a guy screaming “Please aim for my face,” it’s Gerry Cheevers. It’s a wonder he wore pads at all. Who goes up against a dude this inviting and aims for the five hole? Nobody, that’s who.
All he needed to complete the ensemble was an EMT logo on his blocker where he had to fend off the shots going top shelf.
The legendary story goes that Cheevers, who played most of his career
in a mental asylum
with the Boston Bruins, began decorating the mask to show the parts of his face that would be mangled had he not been using anything to protect it. He still left the top of his brain exposed, though, so we’re guessing he’d already given up on saving that.
Rumor also has it that he was an advisor for One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. For this we can’t confirm his involvement. What might be most fascinating in this instance is that later photos of Cheevers seem to show him with all of his teeth intact. Sure, that’s not very hockey, but goalies today suffer much worse with far better coverage.
So good on him. He not only horrified little children, but looked great while doing it. Would we like to meet him in a dark alley at midnight? Please no. Would we take him with us as the best Halloween date ever? Affirmative.