A whole different ballgame: NBA 2K18 playoff simulation log
The 2018 NBA Playoffs are now in full swing and the stakes are rising with each passing day. The postseason is tough even for hardcore us NBA fans and blog boys! Personal relationships and job productivity must fall by the wayside so that we can watch Jason Terry attempt to guard Shane Larkin on an after timeout inbound play and subsequently scream at our televisions.
Well, why not have some fun as the plot thickens and the playoffs intensity. And what better way to do so than to find out which team will take home the Larry O’Brien trophy in the simulated NBA 2K18 universe. Well, we played the postseason out virtually and here are the wacky, often ridiculous results:
Round One
Wizards 4-Raptors 3:
Fire up the Raptors hot takes and get ready to blow this team to smithereens! The virtual Raptors became the consummate caricature of their real counterparts. After comfortably taking Game 1 Toronto melted down in the fourth quarter of Game 2, losing 122-117 after getting outscored 35-25; in a move eerily reminiscent of last Tuesday’s actual Game 2, Scott Brooks surprisingly played Ty Lawson big minutes off the bench. In 2K Brooks’ decision actually worked though, as Lawson went off for 14 points and carried the Washington bench!
The series went back and forth after that game, with both teams trading blowouts until a close Game 7 in Toronto. And of course in the most Raptorsy fashion of all, Toronto blew Game 7 at home as DeRozan and Lowry combined for 9 of 33 from the field! The Wizards took the game 121-114 after the Raptors offense stalled out late in the game. Brad Beal came up huge for the Wizards throughout the series, averaging 25 points per game on 56% shooting. Crisis mode is activated in Toronto.
Cavaliers 4-Pacers 3:
This could be a prescient prediction by 2K, as the Cavs and Pacers seems destined to go the distance. The bizarro Cavs definitely showed up throughout this matchup, either demolishing the Pacers or getting completely dismantled themselves. They lost Games 4 and 6 by more than 30 points each, only to score an absurd 147 points in a 32 point Game 7 victory.
LeBron carried the Cavs as usual, but notoriously streaky shooters J.R. Smith and Jordan Clarkson chipped in with a few huge performances. Victor Oladipo impressed in his Pacers playoff debut, averaging 26/5/5 on crazy shooting efficiency; a star has truly emerged in Indiana. But LeBron got the better of Indiana’s new superstar, going off for 13 of 18 shooting in the closeout game. James set the tone for Cleveland as the Cavs shot 63% from the field, setting up a to a round two matchup with the feisty Wizards.
Sixers 4-Heat 1:
NBA 2K trusts the process. The Sixers pummeled the Heat in a short five game series, winning by an eye-popping margin of 18.6 points per game. Yikes. Coach Spo and the Heat simply had no answers for the dynamic Sixers offense. Philadelphia put on a ridiculous team performance, with eight players averaging 10 points per game or more; the Sixers poured in 119.2 points per game on the stalwart Miami defense.
The series culminated in a 148-103 embarrassment in which the Philly lit the world on fire, nailing 20 shots from beyond the arc. With the exception of Goran Dragic, nobody on the Heat was able to break out offensively. Hassan Whiteside and Josh Richardson were especially disappointing shooting far below their usual level of efficiency from the field. As Joel Embiid so eloquently put it, the Sixers were a nightmare for Miami.
Bucks 4-Celtics 2:
The simulated Bucks appear to have a slightly more competent version of Coach Prunty at the helm. They didn’t self-combust in every game of this series! With that said, they somehow won a playoff series in 2018 averaging an unthinkably low 14.3 attempts per game from 3-point land. The Celtics won two rock fights in Boston, after the Bucks hilariously took eight 3-pointers in Game 2.
Milwaukee eventually wore down Boston however, winning four straight and finally breaking down Boston’s lockdown defense. Without Kyrie Irving in the lineup, the Celts just couldn’t generate enough offense to hang with the Bucks. Giannis came up huge with monstrous performances in Games 5 and 6 to seal Milwaukee’s first series win since 2001… sheesh. The Bucks closed out the Celtics in a 111-104 thriller behind a 33 point and 12 rebound effort from Giannis. Long live the Greek Freak!
Rockets 4-Wolves 0:
After watching the Timberwolves offense regurgitate crappy shots in a totally noncompetitive Game 2 on Wednesday, I’d say that 2K got this one right. Aside from a close overtime victory in Game 3, the Rockets had no trouble dispatching the Wolves. James Harden averaged a seemingly impossible 34 points per game on 64% shooting from the field… I repeat 64%! Not to mention a casual 58% from 3-point range.
Minnesota’s frustrating offensive struggles hysterically translated to the video game universe. Karl-Anthony Towns attempted only 11 shots per game in his first playoff rodeo. Don’t worry though, 38 year-old Jamal Crawford averaged 10 attempts per game. Thanks a bunch Thibs!
Thunder 4-Jazz 2:
This was perhaps the most competitive series of the first round on a game to game basis. The Thunder closed out the Jazz in six, but almost every game was a hard-fought nail biter. The series was also damn ugly, as exhibited in a bizarre Game 3 in which the teams combined to shoot 12 of 65 from 3-point range.
Donovan Mitchell successfully shouldered a massive offensive load for Utah. Although, he sustained a bad knee sprain in Game 5 after leading the Jazz all the way back from 12 down in the fourth quarter to stave off elimination. With Mitchell missing Game 6, an undermanned Utah squad lost a 94-93 heartbreaker at home. Carmelo Anthony came to Oklahoma City’s rescue (now that’s a phrase we haven’t uttered all year) leading the Thunder with 19 points in 27 minutes to knock out Utah. Knowing this Utah squad and coaching staff, you wouldn’t expect anything less than them fighting to the bitter end no matter the odds.
Pelicans 4-Trail Blazers 1:
Even 2K understands the mystical powers of Playoff Rondo. After Anthony Davis shockingly pulled a Karl Towns and attempted eight field goals in 37 minutes in a Game 2 loss, the Pelicans bounced back and smoked the Blazers the rest of the way. New Orleans dominated behind strong performances from the Brow, Nikola Mirotic and Jrue Holiday (can we call him Jrue the Damaja??). Mirotic way went off in the closeout game in Portland, pouring in 25 points in 27 minutes.
Much as they have in reality, Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum struggled mightily in this series. Although Lillard had a few bright spots, McCollum was a disaster all series. He shot 39% from the field. Even worse for the Blazers, soon to be restricted free agent Jusuf Nurkic tore his MCL in Game 4. Portland’s tortured injury history with big men continues.
You can’t help but feel for the Blazers as they got bounced early for the second straight year. But Portland’s exit does mean that we get round two playoff basketball in the Smoothie King Center… hell yeah!
Warriors 4-Spurs 0:
There isn’t all that much to say about this series; it was an absolute demolition job by the Warriors. With Steph Curry nursing an MCL sprain Golden State smoked the Spurs by 22 points per game in an emphatic sweep.
Klay Thompson picked up the slack for his injured Splash Brother and dropped 30 per game on San Antonio. He buried the Spurs behind a hailstorm of long-range bombs in Game 4, going off for 40 points with eight 3-point makes. In other news, we’re still not sure if Kawhi Leonard attended any of San Antonio’s games or if he maintained contact with any of his teammates.