Minnesota Wild: Brent Burns
Wait, what? You may be wondering why Brent Burns and his famous San Jose Sharks beard is listed with his former team (and beardless self). That was the best way to get both Burns and Joe Thornton on this list. Let’s be real. You can’t have a list of beards without both Burns and Thornton.
Burns is one of the league’s best defensemen. He also has one of the league’s best beards. Some may argue a technicality when it comes to Burns (and Thornton) because they grow their beards year-round, and not just for the playoffs. The fact is, Burns’ beard started as a playoff beard. He decided he liked the look and somehow, his beautiful wife agreed. It’s close, but it counts as a playoff beard. Let’s call it this articles version of the goaltender interference call. It doesn’t make sense, and there isn’t really a clear-cut rule but entertainment trumps everything important.
It’s hard to describe Brent Burns’ beard. It’s thick, but thin. It’s majestic, but ugly as all hell. He looks like what you would think a modern-day hockey-playing pirate would look like. Despite looking like he permanently wears a Halloween costume beard, Burns is married. Though his wife doesn’t mind the beard, she does draw the line with Burns when it comes to owning a tiger.
In an interview with Sportsnet, Burns went into detail about his love for animals and different zoos around the world. He is obsessed with them. So much so that at one point, he proposed the idea of owning a jungle cat to his wife, which she quickly (and intelligently) “kiboshed.”
Burns looks as though he belongs in a zoo. At six-foot-five and 230 pounds, he could easily be an attraction. It will be no surprise to see him working with the animals he loves so much after his great hockey career is over. Whether it’s a zoo, an animal sanctuary or a caveman display at a museum; anything will be better than these commercials, Brent.