Things are going crazy in the NBA right now. Signs that we may have entered the end of days are everywhere, if you know where to look.
Apocalyptic mythology has a rich canon, stretching across cultures and faiths. The common elements are, of course, the apocalypse, preceded by a series of signs of the impending catastrophe. Different belief structures have different lean on different signs but we’ve seen enough weird things going on in basketball that’s worth wondering if doom is on the horizon. For example, there was that weird sideline interview with Rick Moranis at the Clippers game in November.
"Harden the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Warriors, the traveler came as a large and moving Wilt! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Run-and-Gun supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Shaq! Many Dudleys and Bradleys knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Shaq that day, I can tell you!"
Here are a few other signs that the basketball apocalypse might be right over the horizon.
5. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies
The average NBA team attempted 29.0 3-point attempts per game this season. That’s up from 27.0 the season before. Which is up from 24.1 the season before that. Which, of course, broke the standing record of 22.4 set the previous season. The two seasons preceding that were the first two in NBA history where the league average was above 20.0 3-point attempts per game for each team.
Modern offense has become a ritual designed to summon destruction from above and rain down fire on your enemies. Basketball has always been an aerial game but the importance of controlling the skies has been increasing exponentially.