Lions fan, 2005
This guy must have missed every Lions season since they became a football team. The first of two delusional Lions fans on this list was ahead of the championship tattoo trend back in 2005.
Let’s set the scene. It’s a nice summer day in Detroit. 50 Cent is huge, but you’re more of a Fall Out Boy guy so you’re bumping “Sugar, We’re Going Down” on your car’s CD player. (CDs are what came before all music was digitally held in your phones, kids.)
You decide that this is the year the Lions will win. Still driving, you pull out your Motorola Razr and start punching in t9 texts to your friends. (Kids: Texting and driving was legal and also more difficult back then, “t9” was the way people texted before keyboards – don’t look it up. Motorola used to make the best cell phones.)
You send this text: “Lions r goin 2 win this yr” before you walk into the tattoo parlor and lock in your bet. The problem is that you’ve forgotten you are a Lions fan and that the Lions will never win a Super Bowl.
The Lions went 6-10 in the 2004-05 season, not even close to getting the chance to win a Super Bowl. Instead of fame and celebration, you wind up here, on a list with 24 other poor-decision makers who jumped the gun to some preseason hype. Congratulations!