Dwight Howard is a Wizard and the Harry Potter Sorting Hat has spoken

Dwight Howard is now a member of the Washington Wizards. This raises the question — which Harry Potter house would he be in? 

It has taken some time, but Dwight Howard is now a Wizard. Washington signed the eccentric journeyman to a two-year deal worth $11 million. He has a player option for the second year.

Dwight is well known for his comedic quotes and way with words. He didn’t disappoint, using creative wordplay to explain why he’s ready to be a Wizard.

Per David Aldridge, Howard said, “I learned Magic for eight years. Went to La-La Land. Worked for a while with Rockets. Learned to fly with some Hawks. Got stung by the Hornets. And it all taught me how to be a Wizard.”

First things first, that’s easily one of the top five corny things you’ll ever hear an NBA player say. It’s the ultimate dad joke. So unbearably terrible, you can’t help but groan (or laugh if that’s your kind of humor). It’s a shame Dwight didn’t work in a Magic Johnson reference or two.

But it also raises an extremely important question. One of the most important ones of all-time. And one that has kept every passionate basketball fan up at night thinking about. With Howard now officially a (Washington) Wizard, which Harry Potter house would he be in?

He doesn’t seem like a Hufflepuff. After all, how much loyalty can a journeyman center who once pretty much forced his way onto the Lakers, only to leave them one year later, be?

Howard might well be brave, but he’s not well known for it. This makes him an awful candidate for Gryffindor. Dwight didn’t get along with Kobe “The Black Mamba” Bryant, so it’s fair to assume he doesn’t speak Parseltongue. Because of this, the Sorting Hat would never let him be a Slytherin.

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This leaves the perfect house for Howard. Dwight was born to be a member of Ravenclaw. He’d fit right in with his sharp, witty mind. Dwight’s also one of the most creative players in the league. Ravenclaw’s logo is an eagle. While an eagle is not a hawk, it’s close enough.