25 best cold-opens in SNL history
By David Rouben
1. Steve Martin turns the cold open into a musical number
It wasn’t until just recently that Alec Baldwin took the mantle for most appearances as SNL host with 17. For years, it was held by Steve Martin, who was never a regular cast member of the show, but no one would blame you for thinking that based on how many times he was on it. Plus, the chemistry he had with two SNL alums in Chevy Chase and Martin Short on Three Amigos was outstanding.
But perhaps there was a reason he never joined the show full-time, and that’s because he never cared enough while hosting. As the SNL cameras show him and the cast backstage before his monologue, he was totally disinterested in rehearsing lines and interacting with cast members. But then, when Chris Farley brought out his old King Tut costume, it made him think of the 70s, when people believed in things and he used to care. From there, everyone breaks into a Broadway-style musical number called “Not Gonna Phone It In Tonight.”
Martin boasts how he would never have to give more than a 20 percent effort because he was that good. But he wasn’t the only one that went on autopilot. Chris Farley vows not to drink until after the show (which, given what we know about his substance abuse problems, is a lot sadder to hear now). Phil Hartman and Julie Sweeney promise to expand their range beyond just the same characters, while Tim Meadows would’ve given a real effort if he actually had any lines that week.
Of course, this sketch wouldn’t be complete without some actual examples of phoning it in. Even floor director Joe Dicso got in on this act, as he brags about how he can’t get fired since he has a union job. And at the end, Martin can’t even remember what to say after “Live from New York.” But it’s the thought that counts.
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The most memorable part of this sketch comes from Lorne Michaels, who makes a rare appearance on camera. Even he’s surprised at how much Martin wants to give a full effort “just to see how good he can be.” Once he opens his mouth to sing, he projects his voice like an operatic tenor. While we wish that was his real singing voice, it was dubbed over by an actual opera singer. A man can dream, though.
When people complain that SNL has gone bad, they tend to point to the writing. But it could also be that the cast is phoning it in with regularity. Perhaps they need Steve Martin to come back and rally the troops again.