Tiger vs. Phil: What’s wrong with ‘The Match’ and how to fix it

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson confirmed plans for a one-on-one showdown in Las Vegas. Will the event be a success? And what should fans expect from the game’s biggest stars?

The recently confirmed head-to-head match play event/media circus between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson has the potential to be incredible television. Two of the game’s most iconic stars will duel in the desert with millions of dollars at stake. What more could a golf fan ask for? A lot, if you ask me.

Fans shouldn’t expect to see competitive golf. This will be the PGA Tour equivalent of the NFL Pro Bowl, a farce, a publicity stunt and an opportunity for two once-beloved figures to wipe the mud off their faces.

Typically, if fans are watching Tiger and Phil play a meaningful round of golf together with a significant prize on the line, it means they’ve outplayed every other golfer on the planet through 54 holes and they’re on top of their games.

In November, when they step up to the first tee, there’s no guarantee either player will be in top form, and considering the stage and the competitors’ financial situations, I don’t think a few more millions of dollars is going to motivate either golfer to approach each shot with major championship focus.

Woods and Mickelson will say the right things and smile for the cameras. After all, they want us to forget about their enormous public relations disasters (I’m sure Tiger is keen to make some new Thanksgiving memories). I love watching golf, and I usually go for outrageous nonsense, but even I’m teetering on the fence at the prospect of forking up my hard-earned income to see this in real time on a pay-per-view broadcast (If it were Mayweather vs. Mickelson in the ring…that’s a no-brainer).

Will it be a good thing for golf? Probably. Will it be good for Tiger and Phil’s image? That’s the whole point. Can this idea be improved? I’m glad I asked.

Here’s how they should adjust this concept moving forward: replace Phil Mickelson with Phil from Sales. You know Phil, right? Every office has a Phil, though sometimes he goes by another name. My Phil is named Tom. He’s a weekend warrior with a respectable handicap and he comes in every Monday asking if I saw Tiger over the weekend. I’d much rather watch Tiger take on Phil from Sales than Phil Mickelson.

Imagine, Phil from Sales, playing from the white tees, getting a stroke and a half per hole, with $1 Million on the line. That’s good TV.

Phil has no chance of beating LeBron James one-on-one, he wouldn’t last five seconds in the octagon with an MMA fighter and in the event that Phil could even see a Roger Federer serve coming at him, it’s unlikely that he’d get a racket on it. Even at his absolute best Phil couldn’t hack it against pro athletes.

But when it comes to theoretical Pros vs. Joes matches, golf is different. A recreational golfer can hit two great shots and sink a lucky putt while his playing partner, even if it’s world #1 Dustin Johnson, taps in for par. Would it happen often? No. But if The Little Giants taught us anything, it’s that we only need to win one time.

This format has staying power, too. Let’s get TaylorMade on board as a sponsor. All of a sudden every pro who’s appeared in a TaylorMade ad is available for a round against their biggest fan. Send my buddy Dave out there with Cameron Smith, let him open a tab with the drink cart, and trust me, you’ll want to set your DVR.

Condense these matches into a series of highlights and post-production commentary and you’ve got 60 minutes of programming that beats Tuesday night replays of European Tour action.

If the goal is to grow the game with novelty events and gimmicky publicity stunts, why not give Phil from Sales a shot? Maybe he carries a 64 degree wedge too.