Fansided

NHL 2023: A report from the future of hockey

By Bruin Belisle

BOSTON - OCTOBER 23: Islanders defenseman Johnny Boychuk skates for the first time on the Garden ice since his trade from Boston under the lights used as the players come onto the surface before the start of the game. The Boston Bruins hosted the New York Islanders in a regular season National Hockey League game at TD Garden. (Photo by Jim Davis/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
BOSTON - OCTOBER 23: Islanders defenseman Johnny Boychuk skates for the first time on the Garden ice since his trade from Boston under the lights used as the players come onto the surface before the start of the game. The Boston Bruins hosted the New York Islanders in a regular season National Hockey League game at TD Garden. (Photo by Jim Davis/The Boston Globe via Getty Images) /
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MONTREAL, QC – APRIL 03: Montreal Canadiens Goalie Carey Price (31) holds his helmet on the net while looking towards the crowd during the Winnipeg Jets versus the Montreal Canadiens game on April 3, 2018, at Bell Centre in Montreal, QC (Photo by David Kirouac/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images) /

Which NHL teams are not

The Edmonton Oilers looked as though they were going to work their way back to Cup contention before Peter Chiarelli “Peter Chiarellied” all over the franchise. In early 2022, excited by the growth of players in the Vegas Golden Knights prospect pool, Chiarelli took a deal sending McDavid to Vegas for a handful of picks and prospects.

In 2009, former Oilers owner and infamous Gretzky-trader Peter Pocklington released a book about the Gretzky trade titled “I’d trade him again.” Fast forward a couple of decades and Peter Chiarelli is working on a spin-off series of books with the same title.

To recap: Chiarelli famously traded a 21-year-old Tyler Seguin from Boston to the Dallas Stars for a bag of pucks and a new washing machine four players who would go on to do nothing for the B’s. Seguin, on the other hand, has 173 goals and 384 points in 387 games since joining the Stars.

Chiarelli’s second installment of the saga is trading 2018 Hart Memorial Trophy winner Taylor Hall for nothing (I mean, Adam Larsson) in 2016. It’s not out of the question that this is a guy who would recklessly trade Connor McDavid if the right offer comes across his desk (the right offer in Peter’s eyes, as there is no “right offer” for McDavid).

In 2023, the Oilers are back to collecting first overall picks for the foreseeable future.

The next five years are rough for the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins. Once powerhouses of the Eastern Conference, the two are on the decline, following their aging stars Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin. By 2023, neither team is in the playoffs.

The Montreal Canadiens and Ottawa Senators are also trash. Both teams hampered by their horrible general managers that seem to have a hall pass to do whatever they please. Pure hockey fans are saddened to see Carey Price live out the rest of his prime facing 40+ shots a game on a non-playoff team.

Oh, and Erik Karlsson ends up in Vegas as well.

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