Fansided

New Flyers mascot wants to be the Penguins’ Babadook

By Joshua Axelrod

PITTSBURGH, PA - MARCH 4: Iceburg entertains fans during the game against the Tampa Bay Lightning at Consol Energy Center on March 4, 2013 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images)
PITTSBURGH, PA - MARCH 4: Iceburg entertains fans during the game against the Tampa Bay Lightning at Consol Energy Center on March 4, 2013 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Justin K. Aller/Getty Images) /
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The Flyers’ new mascot is the most terrifying thing on Earth, and he appears to be coming for the Penguins.

If it’s in a word or in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook.

The Philadelphia Flyers unveiled their new mascot today, Gritty, and it might be the most terrifying mascot since, well, the Philly Phanatic.

A rumbling sound then three sharp knocks. That’s when you’ll know that he’s around. You’ll see him if you look.

Jokes abounded throughout social media and, notably, the FanSided NHL Slack, which mercilessly roasted Gritty. That almost universal ridicule was immortalized in a post where I said Gritty looks like Animal from The Muppets gained 500 pounds, gouged out his eyes because he didn’t like what he saw in the mirror and replaced them with googly eyes.

This is what he wears on top. He’s funny don’t you think? See him in your room at night and you won’t sleep a wink.

Well, the Pittsburgh Penguins also clearly thought Gritty looked ridiculous, and made that clear on Twitter.

Big mistake:

I’ll take off my funny disguise, take heed of what you’ve read…

What have we learned from this experience? The main lesson to take away is that Gritty is not, in fact, Animal, or the hairy monster from Looney Tunes, or an orange, hairy version of McDonald’s masoct Grimace. No, he is something much, much more frightening.

Gritty is clearly The Babadook, a horror movie monster famous for terrorizing children and making their families’ lives hell until it gets what it wants. And now it appears to be coming for the Penguins, or at least its ornithological mascot Iceburg. If a Flyers employee finds feathers covering Gritty’s mouth tomorrow, we’ll all know what happened.

And once you see what’s underneath, you’re going to wish you were dead.

However this horrifying saga plays out, at least we can all rest assured knowing that the Penguins will still own the Flyers this season. Like The Babadook’s dedication to terrorizing its victims, the Penguins dominating the Flyers in both the regular season and playoffs is just an unavoidable inevitability.

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