A Mad Men guide to the 2018-19 NBA Season

“You tell them the next thing will be better because it always is.” — Orlando Magic, Detroit Pistons, Memphis Grizzlies, Charlotte Hornets and Phoenix Suns

Mr. Macri, Mr. Macri…a few questions about your Mad Men NBA piece. First of all, did you know how good this would turn out as you were writing it?

Yes. Yes, I did.

So, most teams here got their own quote, but then you grouped five teams together –  ones that hired new coaches in the offseason – and gave them the line Don says to Lane before he ultimately hangs himself. This seems kind of harsh.

That wasn’t a question.

No, umm…I suppose not. Well, did you give the line to all those teams because you felt like it really applied to all of them or because you were running out of applicable lines?

Most certainly both.

But don’t you feel bad that the quote implies the fan bases of all of these teams are, I don’t know…not very bright?

Quite the contrary, actually. Don is utterly sincere when he says this, and I’m of the belief that things will get better for each of these teams, if only because it can’t get much worse. Did the Magic get a point guard yet?

I’m the one asking the questions, thanks. The Suns, though…they really seem like they deserve their own quote, what with their young core and newly hired, well-respected coach. Don’t you agree?

Have you met Robert Sarver?

What did I say about-

That was a rhetorical question.

Oh. Well, in that case, shouldn’t the Knicks also be in this category? They hired a new coach, have a terrible owner, and just because you’re a fan of the team doesn’t mean you get to-

I’m sorry, we’ve run out of time.