The preseason is happening and will continue to happen as games keep getting played by teams (two of them, one to a side) before the official launch of the NBA season which will be taking place in the future but specifically on Oct. 16, 2018, and people everywhere are excited about this occurrence taking place eventually when it does at the proper time and place. Yes.
How about you? How are you expressing your excitement? Song? Painting? If youāre anything like me, which is a really good person-type to emulate, youāve been cooking a few liters of chili every night so you can freeze it and have good, hearty, microwaveable meals on hand from now until the playoffs start. Itās starting to get cold. You notice that? I noticed that.
But thatās enough about the non-present. Itās important to live in the moment, you see. Things like ālooking aheadā or āplanning for the futureā are very bad to do. Some people say these things are good to do, but they are wrong. These things are bad to do.
Now that weāve established that, letās talk about the preseason. Itās actually been kind of fun. Most of us have been going through a bit of withdrawal since the WNBA finals, and while Jimmy Butler being upset is fun to think about for a little while, it canāt really sustain a human being for more than a couple days. Like Triscuits.
Itās not enough. We need something meatier, like a slice of summer sausage and some smoked gouda on the aforementioned Triscuit. The following things Iām going to talk about are real, corporeal basketball miracles that have been delivered to our faces and minds over the last few days. These arenāt the only important things, but theyāre the most important important things.
Andre Drummond is taking 3s
Heās taken three of them, in fact. Itās hard to decide which is most beautiful, but we must try.
Iām picturing these like baby birds first attempting to fly. This birdās name is Dominic. He was the first to leave the nest.
This is Rihanna. She saw her brother take to the air and thought to herself āI too have wings, and I must express myself through the wind dance of flight-movementing.ā
This is Noob Saibird. She spent her young life under her motherās wing watching The Price is Right and getting annoyed that Drew Carey never allows birds to come up and play the games. Itās always the human people, usually one with a loud voice or hat.
Anyhoo, all three of these baby birds crashed straight into the ground. It was like how Woody called flying āfalling with styleā except there wasnāt any style and instead there were three distinct āplapā sounds.
Hereās hoping Drummond offers us more morbid bird moments in the future. This is such an exhilarating tragedy.
The Lakers exist and are an actual team made of people who play basketball together
When LeBron officially made his move to the Lakers, it was an unfortunate moment for people who enjoy things that arenāt predictable. However, every signing from that point onward seemed so far off script that one could be forgiven for thinking that the outcome of every NBA game isnāt pre-determined.
The notion of LeBron James sharing a locker room with Michael Beasley, JaVale McGee, Lance Stephenson, Rajon Rondo, and Lavar Ballās son just seems like it canāt possibly sustain existence. Itās just too unstable. Rondo and Stephenson will bump shoulders in a hallway one day, and a small portion of the universe will collapse in on itself.
But that hasnāt happened yet. The Lakers were put on a basketball court to play basketball, and somehow they played basketball. Itās almost as if theyāre professional basketball players and thatās what they do. Almost. So, so close.
Itās not gotten less weird over time. I feel like Iām seeing through to the other side of the pretty cross-stitched pattern. The reality of it is tangled and ugly, and that reality is just beneath the surface. Iām going to keep watching. Rot will out.
Markelle Fultz isnāt injured and is shooting jump shots
Maybe itās fixed now! We get to see him shooting jumpers in actual game time rather than practice footage off someoneās iPhone from across a gym!
Whatever happened to Fultzās shot is the most irritating mystery in the NBA right now, but at least now weāre getting to see it reveal itself on a basketball court instead of Bryan Colangeloās wifeās burner accounts.
I just want him to shoot every shot for every team forever so that I can get a large enough sample size to determine something or other. Is that too much to ask?
Random teams from everywhere
Flamengo! Haifa! Guangzhou! Orlando! Theyāre all here, and theyāre all playing against NBA teams! That slight, tiny, minuscule hope that one of these extra-league teams can win is just so fun to fans. Anything that gets you hyped up over practically nothing should be cherished.
And thatās basically the message of the preseason. Very little of this matters. You can pull as much or as little from it as you want. All I want is the images and motion that resemble NBA basketball, and so far I think Iām getting it in delightful new ways.
I missed this. I missed this so much.