NBA Alternative All-Star Weekend 2019: Alternative Competitions
By Staff
The NBA’s All-Star Weekend is a celebration of the league’s best and brightest. Unfortunately, there isn’t room for everyone who deserves it. That’s why The Step Back is planning their Alternative All-Star Weekend.
The NBA is always looking to innovate and over its history we’ve seen a variety of additional competitions come and go from All-Star Weekend. Here are a few competitions we’re excited to feature at Alternative All-Star Weekend.
KNOCKOUT
Paul Centopani (@PCentopani): This might not be a new idea and might even be one I proposed on this very platform last year, but I’m hoping to speak it into existence. Knockout’s a classic game of the schoolyard and dates back to the dawn of time. What makes it so infallible is that anyone can win.
For an NBA version, I don’t want all the best shooters. I want goonery and shenanigans and tomfoolery. I want to go into this knowing, at some point, one of these guys will ball-bounce another and start a potential everlasting beef. I mean, I still remember the kids that used to ball-bounce when we played in middle school and I’ve always held it as a mark against their character. People don’t forget!
A 10-person field feels right. Give me Boogie. Give me JR. Give me Lance. Give me Draymond. Give me Taurasi. Bring in Stewie, Sue Bird and Maya Moore. Call up Delly. Rope in Shaq for good measure. I have no doubt this would be the most entertaining exhibition the NBA ever put on. Give me knockout or give me death.
OLD TIMER’S GAME
Rich Kraetsch (@OverandBackNBA): It’s time to dig into the NBA’s past for an idea. Bring back The Old Timer’s Game or — as it was referred to from 1984-1993 — the NBA Legends Game.
The concept is simple — invite NBA legends and have them play in a game. It’s a great idea and the perfect way to showcase the best of the NBA’s past on a weekend that celebrates its future (Rising Stars Challenge) and the present (NBA All-Star Game). The idea loses some steam when those legends get hurt. In 1992 alone both Norm Nixon and David Thompson went down with major injuries. The NBA smartly canceled the event in 1994 and it has never returned.
But it’s time to bring it back.
The competitive nature of past stars is at an all-time high and it’s time to see these guys close their Twitter accounts, drop the phones and get on the court. You just know Michael Jordan, even at age 55, would lace it up one more time to prove himself. A 40-year-old Kobe Bryant is itching to get back into the mix. One more opportunity to see John Stockton dish a beautiful pick-and-roll pass to long-haul trucker Karl Malone. Tracy McGrady. Allen Iverson. Shaq. The Big3 has shown us that retired players can still go and if you’re the NBA, why not take advantage of this?
It’s been 25 years since the NBA blessed us with a Legend’s Game during All-Star Weekend. BRING IT BACK! Plus, the Icy Hot sponsorship will pay for itself.
SUPER SMASH BROS ULTIMATE
Micah Wimmer (@micahwimmer): Despite growing up in the 90’s, I somehow never really played Super Smash Bros., or any of its later iterations, growing up and often felt left out in undergrad as my friends would play for hours and I would avoid playing because, whenever I did, I would get thrown off the stage pretty much immediately. Yet, I nevertheless decided to buy the newest Smash Bros. release last month and it’s pretty much taken over my life, as I try to master the intricacies of each character and find the most reliable method to make my friends bow in submission to my Smash mastery. Such attempts have been hit or miss, to be charitable, but I’ve sunk dozens of hours into this game and show no sign of stopping.
Like me, NBA players are prone to losing hour after hour to video games, and watching them play Smash would be a treat. Which players would pick which characters and how would they go about trying to outsmart and outplay their opponents? We could speculate for days about what their character selections imply about themselves, and what their style of attack reveals (or hides) about their own playing style. Smash is a game with many twists and turns over the course of a match, bringing out a variety of emotions, from overwhelming euphoria to helpless frustration, from the joy of victory to the agony of defeat, and everything in between. I sincerely believe that watching NBA players experience all of these would almost certainly be more enjoyable and engaging than, say, reviving the Shooting Stars competition. Also, on the off chance any NBA players are reading this and want to play sometimes, my DMs are open — let’s exchange friend codes.
CANDYLAND
Hunter Kuffel (@notgatherer): One of the things I love about the NBA is that, for the most part, the better team wins the playoff series. You can have the occasional poor shooting night or a wacky 35-point game from a role player, but superior talent and execution wins out in a seven-game sample size. To me, that’s fair.
At All-Star Weekend though? Leave your meritocracies at the door.
The idea that the actual All-Star Game means anything at all has been a moot point for years now, and we might be approaching the same conclusion with the dunk contest and 3-point contest. To fully steer into the skid, give me NBA Candyland, a game so uncaring, so fickle, it’s been reducing its players to bickering about primary colors since the New Deal. Candyland doesn’t care about your true shooting percentage.
In terms of players, I won’t be too picky, but I think I need Charles Barkley involved. I’d also love to see if Rajon Rondo’s Connect Four confidence would transfer over to a different tabletop game. He’s mastered the kick out pass, but can he navigate the Gumdrop Pass? Only Lady Fortune knows.