Click Clack Laker
By Bryan Harvey
Magic Johnson has a problem.
His team isn’t winning,
His star player is old
and pondering life after basketball.
All day long Magic hears
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety, clack, Laker.
He thinks of Paul Westhead often.
Farmer LeBron has a problem.
His cows aren’t even cows–
they’re people.
How could this be?
His teammates have always been cows.
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety, clack, Laker.
He asks himself, what would Pat Riley do?
Luke Walton couldn’t believe his eyes.
He is the son of Bill Walton
and a former interim coach
of the Golden State Warriors.
He also knows Kobe Bryant
on something sort of like a personal level.
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety , clack, Laker.
Seriously, what is the password?
This franchise can’t agree on anything.
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety, clack, Laker.
LeBron’s non-cow teammates play XBox,
like a lot. They also need the wifi password.
They like to replay some classic NBA Finals
on the ol’ XBox. They often play as the Splash
Brothers, plus Draymond Green.
Then they start to understand what it takes
to win championships: A Death Lineup.
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety, clack, Laker.
Someone left a new note on the door.
No one signed it.
No one really knows who wrote it.
Did LeBron write it? Did Magic write it?
Did LeBron’s teammates write it?
No way! They were playing Xbox.
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety, clack, Laker.
Having celebrated his 34th birthday,
LeBron James sat down at a typewriter.
He definitely had never done this before.
Seriously, who wrote those other notes?
Clearly someone with the wifi password
would not need to use a typewriter,
and LeBron definitely has the wifi password,
unless typing all these notes was some sort of ruse.
Anyway, LeBron felt inspired to write from the heart
about the injustices going on within the Laker organization.
Click, clack, Laker.
Click, clack, Laker.
Clickety, clack, Laker.
Magic Johnson saw himself as a neutral party,
so he sent the note by random bird
to a random editor in another city, you know,
just to get an objective opinion.
The outsider liked what he read.
He prepared to write his own series of notes.
Click, clack, pelican.
Click, clack, pelican.
Clickety, clack, pelican.
Note: Bryan Harvey uses a technique of crayon on printer paper to render his artwork. He also owns a copy of Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin’s book Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type.