Ice Cold Takes: NHL referees probably made a ton of money on Blues game 5 win

Ice Cold Takes is usually a weekly humor column covering what is trending around the NHL. This week, we’re going to focus more on NHL referee Kelly Sutherland’s upcoming match-fixing trial.

The NHL should feel shame (Deep breath). I am writing this after the Bruins lost one of the worst officiated hockey games in Stanley Cup Final history. Whining Bruins fan, I know. Normally, when these types of games end, I’m fuming. As upset as a fan can be without making it onto a viral video smashing my television set. Tonight. Silent. Sitting on my couch in disbelief at what I just watched. A 2-1 Blues win, the game winning goal coming on the most obvious, blatant tripping penalty of all time. No call.

Someone was getting paid. Or perhaps Craig Berube found Kelly referees Sutherland and Steve Kozari in the parking lot and threatened their lives after game 3. I don’t know. The Blues got away with two obvious head shots, both coming directly in front of officials. Head shots that the NHL is trying to get out of the game. Head shots that have led to penalties, suspensions and unfortunately in some occasions, concussions – both uncalled. Nothing. Not even a make up call afterward. The second head shot would have been a great time to throw a hand up and buy back some credibility. Nope. No call.

Christ. Tyler Bozak threw his hands up, knowing full well he was going to the box after he tripped Noel Acciari before the game winning goal was scored. I cannot comprehend how it wasn’t called. Bruins bias aside, as a fan of the game of hockey, I do not understand how this happens.

A 12-year-old volunteer refereeing in a novice hockey game would have done a better job in last night’s game. It wouldn’t surprise me if, ten years from now, it came out that Sutherland and this crew had money on the Blues in this series. Again, I have never seen a more blatant, obvious call not be called. Especially in a Stanley Cup Playoff game.

I’m 100% serious about this. I will post the letter in next week’s ICT.

Anyway.

Trending up

Gloria

If I could drop “F” bombs in here, I’d say “Here you go you bunch of F-ing Blues fans. Enjoy your stupid song one last time.” But I can’t, so I won’t. No but seriously, this girl is adorable and seeing the joy that “Gloria” brings is nice to see. At least she had a nice night.

https://twitter.com/NHL/status/1136029373449015296

That’s adorable. All of the kids in St. Louis who are too young to know what match fixing is are having a blast tonight. Mom and Dad let them stay up late to watch the Blues and it paid off (literally – for the referees). Congratulations to all of the children who cheer for the Blues. To their parents, though, who are arguing that game 5 was fair – see the previous paragraph.

Kelly Sutherland and Steve Kozari

They’ll have statues of these idiots up in St. Louis if the Blues win the Stanley Cup. In case you skipped over the entire intro, Kelly Sutherland and Steve Kozari were the referees in the most poorly officiated NHL Stanley Cup Playoff game of all time.

Sutherland and Kozari hate the Bruins. This crew of losers made that clear in game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final by not calling any of the multiple obvious penalties against the St. Louis Blues. Did I mention this already? If I didn’t, it was very, very bad.

You don’t even need to play this clip in slow motion to see how obvious a head shot it is. Sportsnet panelist Nick Kypreos tried to defend this hit by saying it was to the body. Sportsnet panelist Nick Kypreos is an idiot. He slowed it down to try to make his point to the exact moment where Barbashev’s shoulder was crushing Johansson’s face. Johansson, who has a history of concussions. This went uncalled in the NHL. The league that is “committed” to taking these plays out of the game. Again, to reiterate this side-bar, Nick Kypreos is an idiot. Back to Sutherland and Kozari.

Kelly Sutherland is an idiot. Kelly is likely sitting in his hotel room at the moment, counting the money he made on game 5 and conspiring to make more in game 6. He’s probably also planning other mean, villain-like things. He hates puppies. He rides his bike in front of cars like he is a motor vehicle. He stands up as soon as the plane lands. He drinks room-temperature milk. He sucks, but he’s loaded now because he fixed game 5 and made a ton of money.

So he’s trending up… Because of all the money he made fixing game 5.

Trending down

NHL Officials 

OH MY GOD. This play led to the game winning goal. I can’t even. I CAN’T EVEN.

The NHL

The National Hockey League is going to have to issue an apology to the Boston Bruins after that game. Is Wes McCauley healthy yet? He is dearly missed as the go-to head referee for these important games. If he is available in any capacity, please, bring him back.

I have Toronto Maple Leafs fans texting me saying “Wow, that was bad.” The same Leafs fans who were laughing about missed calls and saying it was all karma, until this moment. Even they realize how bad this was (Am I getting my point across? If you are still reading this I can only assume you are a Bruins fan). Game 5 was ruined by four idiots who have no business refereeing any more NHL hockey games this season. End rant. See you all at game 7.

Keep your head up. Or don’t. It won’t matter. You aren’t going to get the call.