Scenes from Space Jam 2: The Fellowship of the Ring
By Ian Levy
A look at the scene summary for Space Jam 2: The Fellowship of the Ring offers plenty of clues as to how the next season could play out for LeBron and the Lakers.
It’s moments before the big game. As the Monstars fire up the crowd with a series of wild dunks, LeBron gathers his ragtag group of basketball heroes, the only thing standing between Earth and total annihilation. Dramatic music swells in the background as LeBron gives a stirring motivational speech. As he finishes, we slowly pan across the faces of his teammates.
Then Anthony Davis steps forward and says, “If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my alley-oops….”
Solemnly, Kyle Kuzma intones, “…and my career 33.5 3-point-shooting average…”
“…and my replacement-level production…” says [anonymous player on veteran minimum contract].
Confidently (maybe too confidently), Jimmer Fredette offers, “…and my 56 points.”
Finally, Rob Pelinka adds, “You carry the fate of us all, LeBron. If this is indeed the will of the Basketball Gods, then the Lakers will see it done.”
*****
In happier times, the Lakers are gathered for a preseason celebration. Everyone from the team is there, from [anonymous player on veteran minimum contract] to Jimmer Fredette, to Andre Ingram, to [anonymous unplayable but experienced ring-chasing veteran on minimum contract]. Music and dancing abound and, at one point, Jimmer hops onto a picnic table to do a jaunty jig.
As LeBron arrives at the celebration and begins to make his way through the crowd, his teammates begin to chant, “speech! speech! speech!”
LeBron, somewhat reluctantly, mounts a makeshift stage and begins to speak.
“Tomorrow, I will play my 1,199th career regular season game. Alas, that is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable teammates [a cheer goes up from the crowd as LeBron pauses for several seconds]. I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve [stunned silence settles over the celebration as LeBron looks at his shoes and quietly fiddles with his 2012 championship ring behind his back, deep in thought]…”
*****
With the Lakers still trailing by double-digits late in the fourth quarter, LeBron calls for a timeout.
” I once knew every set in all the playbooks of the Monstars!” shouts LeBron in frustration.
“What are you going to do, then?” asks Jimmer.
“Knock your head against this parquet floor, Jimmer Took! And if that does not shatter the Monstars, I will at least be allowed a little peace from foolish questions!” thunders LeBron in response.
*****
As Lance Stephenson shimmies across an empty practice court, Anthony Davis looks on in disgust. He turns to Andre Ingram and says, “It’s a pity LeBron didn’t end him when he had the chance.”
Ingram responds incredulously, “Pity? It was pity that stayed LeBron’s hand. Many that retire deserve to play, and some that play deserve retirement. Can you give it to them, Brow? Do not be too eager to deal out judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Lance has some part to play, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of LeBron may rule the fate of many.”