Joey Chestnut won his 12th Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4th, making him a legend of what some say is sport, others say is gross.
Yup, Chestnut wins again. The man is a true American legend. He’s stuffing his face at a record pace, something most of us try to do this afternoon at cookouts, only to overeat and then become violently ill later on.
Whether or not Chestnut becomes ill later, who knows? It stands to reason that after hammering down 71 hot dogs, it’s bound to get ugly this evening. Hell, if the hot dogs don’t get him, the knowledge that he spent a bunch of July 4th holidays at Coney Island will. Believe me, I’m a New Yorker, and nobody with any other options is flocking to Coney Island.
Regardless, Chestnut is now a champion once more, continuing his reign of both dominance and terror in a competition both defying of all human bounds and incredibly unsettling. It’s one thing to knock down a pair of hot dogs (ketchup and mustard, none of that other nonsense) at the BBQ, it’s quite another to be slamming them while dipping the buns in water. It’s like eating a bowl of corn flakes that’s been sitting in milk for an hour.
The real question here isn’t whether Chestnut is an athlete or not (he’s not, any argument otherwise is inane) but whether he deserves more of a platform. How many ribeye steaks can Chestnut polish off in an hour? If we got him some Baconators from Wendy’s, does he get 50 of them down before puking all over the table? We need answers, and the only way we get them isomer opportunity to watch this beast of a man saddle up to the table with more options.