Mike Tyson has a $40,000 weed habit that can’t knock him out

Mike Tyson was rarely knocked out as a boxer, but can he avoid being knocked out by his $40K weed habit? Let’s investigate for big journalism purposes.

Mike Tyson says he burns through $40,000 worth of weed every month. This results in many follow-up questions, most importantly, whether marijuana can do what so few boxers could: knock his ass out.

Iron Mike admitted to his propensity to light up on the appropriately-titled podcast “Hotboxin’ with Mike Tyson“ he hosts with former NFL lineman and current marijuana advocate, Eben Britton.

“We smoke 10 tons of weed at the ranch a month,” Britton said, referencing Tyson Ranch, a 40-acre marijuana farm he launched after recreational marijuana went into effect last year.

If you’re reading this and saying, “smoking 10 tons of week each month seems like a lot” it’s because it is most definitely a lot.

Smoke ’em if you got ’em, right?

After doing some intrepid reporting with some sources who wish to remain nameless, smoking a pound of weed in one month would be a monumental chore in itself. That’s like climbing Mount Everest on your lunch break in a pair of Sketchers.

And then doing it again and again and again You’d literally have to be smoking non-stop 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and even then, you’d have to be packing bowls as big as a cereal bowl you inevitable eat after smoking.

That’s a challenge some are willing to undertake. There are many college co-eds reading this right now and ready to break out the bong, have a wake-and-bake session and try to break Iron Mike’s marijuana record.

“Is that crazy?” Tyson asked his guest about his 10-ton habit, rapper Jim Jones, who opened his eyes as wide as humanly possible before saying, “That’s a lot of weed,” he said. “That’s nonstop, every second weed right there.”

During Tyson’s boxing career, he was a runaway train that would defeat the opponent before the opening bell. Then, he’d charge at you in his black trunks and menacing glair and punish you into “Bolivian.”

Tyson’s famous loss to James “Buster” Douglas, was the first time we’ve seen him on the mat. It was the first time he was knocked out. It was unthinkable. It was and still may be the biggest upset in sports.

It’s clear that his weed habit isn’t knocking him out either. He really is the Champ.

Sources I spoke to for this piece tell me they are knocked out after a couple rips off their pen or a bowl of the finest cheeba they can procure from their plug or legal shop. And that’s like 1/5 of a gram.

You don’t need to be a master of the metric system to know a fraction of a gram is so insignificant when it comes to 10 tons.

The most fascinating part of this Tyson tall tale is I would like to see 10 tons of weed in one place at one time. I’d imagine it’s like seeing cornfields in Iowa or Nebraska but instead of rows and rows of sweet corn growing in the soil, it’s the finest Indica and Sativa.

My next task is to coax an invite out of Iron Mike and Britton to be a guest on Hotboxin’ and see if I can help them get rid of the 10 tons they burn through each month. Ya know, for the journalism.