Ice Cold Takes: A statement about Don Cherry

Ice Cold Takes is a weekly NHL humor column that is going to try to be serious for a second (so bear with me please).

The story of the hockey world this week has been an unfortunate one. Coach’s Corner host and longtime Canadian hockey staple Don Cherry was fired on Monday for saying some very stupid things. Not the stupid things we laugh about, like his ridiculous suit choices, but stupid things that were viewed as hurtful, racist and divisive.

Most hockey fans, especially Canadians, grew up watching Don on Coach’s Corner, soaking up his words of wisdom and unique (often unfiltered) way of explaining some of hockey’s unspoken rules to the common masses. Whether you grew up loving him or hating him, he was greatly influential to hockey culture in Canada on all levels. Hell, the sign off I’ve been using since day one of this column is a Don Cherry quote. If I wasn’t too lazy to check, I believe the original columns even included “Thumbs up.”

None of this makes Don’s recent (or past) comments okay. There has been a lot of discussion online about Cherry this week, but no matter where you land on Monday’s comments, his time on Coach’s Corner was probably past due in coming to an end. After the comments last week, it’s clear that he isn’t exactly in the right mental state to be on television in 2019. And this is far from the first time he’s been under fire for controversial wording or comments. Regardless of his desired message or your long-standing love for Cherry, his words cannot be ignored or downplayed as “Oh that’s just crazy uncle Don.”

To those upset with Sportnet’s decision to fire Don Cherry: It’s very much okay for Don to have been fired for the comments he made. In all honestly, the argument can be made that he should have been let go sooner for comments he’s made in the past. Don understands why he was fired and you should too. Singling out any group of people is wrong, regardless of the message he’s trying to get across.

To those who are rejoicing Don Cherry’s firing: It’s okay for others to respect and acknowledge all that he’s done for the hockey world, the NHL, kids playing hockey, the Canadian and American military and everyone else he could help along the way. Don Cherry is above all else, a very charitable hockey personality who has dedicated a good part of his career to helping others, and you can find countless examples of this throughout his long life.

By no means am I trying to defend Don Cherry’s words or actions on this or any other occasion, but acting as though he’s been nothing but a negative force in the hockey world for the entirety of his career isn’t fair either. We can recognize the good things Don has done for hockey (and others) while at the same time, reprimand him for his awful, hurtful comments that alienated many fans.

That was a little heavy for this brand. Let’s get back to the fun stuff.

Claude Giroux

Hearst, Ontario superstar Claude Giroux may be from the worst, dirtiest, ugliest place in Canada. There is no “but” coming, that was a statement.

Even though he grew up in Hearst, he’s impossible not to like. He is also currently in a battle with himself for the nicest shootout goal of the season. Giroux gifted us these two incredible goals in two of the Flyers’ last three games.

The angle on the second goal makes no sense. It shouldn’t be possible. It isn’t possible. I still don’t believe it happened. There wasn’t a pucks-worth of space to score but somehow, Claude managed to find one. The first goal, which I believe is the better goal, is insane. This is a road hockey move that makes everyone laugh. A slap shot shootout goal is pure filth. No one has done this successfully since 1975. Congratulations to Claude for pulling these off and furthering the narrative that despite growing up in Hearst and playing in Philly, he’s impossible to dislike.

Speaking of road hockey, the Flyers have seen overtime in five of their six November games, four of which have gone to shootout. They are the NHL equivalent of road hockey’s “next goal wins” right now and it’s very fun to watch.

Grand Larceny

Get this guy on the cast of Ocean’s 14 because this is the theft of the century.

Questions. Was the napkin wrapped so tight that the person didn’t feel the cone leaving his hand? Wouldn’t the weight change throw him off? What exactly was he watching on his buddy’s phone that was so engaging he wouldn’t notice another man stealing his ice cream?

The best part of the video is that the thief tries to be a good person and put the cone back but then bails when he realizes he would be caught. Every part of this video is perfect. The worst part is that the cone probably costs $15.

Connor McDavid

For someone who is the greatest in the world at his profession, Connor McDavid is pretty quiet. Now that the Edmonton Oilers are actually good, we should be talking about Connor far more often. Last week, he had two hat tricks, one of which came in a six point game, and did things like this:

How?! This doesn’t even make sense. Has anyone ever been so bored playing such an intense sport? Connor is quiet because playing hockey is like a regular 9-5 desk job to him. He should have to play in shoes instead of skates. Or with the wooden Titan stick everyone had in the 1990’s.

McDavid would probably still be a top 10 NHL player if those two rules were applied. This tweet by Sara Civian pretty much sums up exactly what it’s like to live in a Connor McDavid world. The only difference is that his speed isn’t going anywhere.

Rhinoceros’

What exactly is the point of a Rhinoceros? They are built like giant killing machines but act like docile herbivores. The only natural predator of the rhino are humans (way to go, humans) and as far as I know, they don’t have anything below them on the food chain. It’s as if the army started supplying tanks to the general public for road use.

On an evolutionary level, where the hell did they come from? At some point, a cow and a dinosaur had sex and this weird, unicorn wannabe was born. If a rhino was smaller and faster, it would be the king of nature. If they were bigger and even more armored, they would rule the world.

I just don’t understand the point of the rhinoceros. Nothing against them, they are beautiful creatures, they just serve absolutely no purpose.

Keep your head up.