Pat McAfee: Urban Meyer is dry milk on television

Pat McAfee, Indianapolis Colts. (Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images)
Pat McAfee, Indianapolis Colts. (Photo by Justin Casterline/Getty Images) /
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Pat McAfee is out here doing good things like promoting the Cheez-It Bowl and doesn’t have time for Urban Meyer’s criticism, as he’s dry milk on television.

Pat McAfee used to be an All-Pro punter for the Indianapolis Colts and a First-Team All-American with the West Virginia Mountaineers before that. Since hanging up the spikes after the 2016 NFL season, McAfee has become the most captivating, and therefore the greatest, television personality to come into our lives in some time.

McAfee, who works for ESPN as part of their Thursday Night College Football team with Adam Amin, Matt Hasselbeck and Molly McGrath, has been given the most distinct privilege of all time: He will be the “Master of CHEEZ” at the 2019 Cheez-It Bowl.

McAfee, and possibly you, could watch the entire Cheez-It Bowl being played between the Washington State Cougars and the Air Force Falcons from Chase Field in Phoenix inside of a giant, two-story Cheez-It box. This game involves Cheez-Its, Pat McAfee, an indoor baseball stadium, Mike Leach, the Air Raid and the Triple Option. What else could you possibly want out of this?

While McAfee’s on-air brilliance has captivated America about on par with “The Macarena” in the early-to-mid-1990s, FOX’s Urban Meyer isn’t a fan of McAfee “jumping into lakes” and stuff. Because McAfee has a reputation unlike any other to uphold, he told FanSided‘s Ashley Young what he thinks about the crown jewel of FOX’s Big Noon Kickoff.

“If I don’t do anything there, I probably lose all of my fans and all of my followers, which I just can’t do,” said McAfee. “Those are my people, they have my back through everything. And honestly, Urban Meyer is dry milk on television. So for him to take a shot at me, in my eyes, when I’ve worked my ass off to get here, is something that came out of nowhere.”

McAfee would say that he doesn’t even work for ESPN’s College GameDay and “it was a river and not a lake, so there’s a lot of things we can dive into there…I will probably hate Urban Meyer for the rest of my life and he knows that.”

Damn. So the rivalry is on. McAfee comes off the top rope, or better yet, the top of a double-decker Brazos Riverboat cruiser, to crush Meyer Waco style and compare him to inferior dairy products, firmly beneath Cheez-Its. Point for Team ESPN and The Pat McAfee Show. Boom!

But you know what? McAfee is too good of a dude to let supposed television beefs get in the way of more important and more awesome things, like getting ready to get ready for the greatest bowl of all time: the 2019 Cheez-It Bowl between Wazzu and the Air Force Academy. One team only passes the football and it’s not the one you think.

“Well, the Cheez-It Bowl is going to be the biggest and best bowl of all time ever,” said McAfee. Last year’s game was stupendous, one that people still talk about. And this year, it’s gonna outdo what happened last year…We’re gonna raise money for the military…We’re gonna watch the game live from a two-story Cheez-It box…We’re just gonna try to make this the best time of all time.”

When asked if he’d rather eat 10 boxes of Cheez-Its or one Cheez-It the size of a Cheez-Its box, McAfee gave us the most correct answer, “I think you’re winning both ways here.” He said he would feast on the giant box-sized Cheez-It first and then work his way through the 10 boxes of regular-sized Cheez-Its next as any respectable human would do for dessert. It’s gonna be great!

Pat McAfee spoke with FanSided on behalf of Cheez-It and the 2019 Cheez-It Bowl. For a chance to attend the Cheez-It Bowl with Pat McAfee, share your passion for Cheez-It using photo or video with #CheezPickMePatEntry and tagging @CheezIt on Twitter starting December 5.

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