Ice Cold Takes: Like these two NHL teams, you’ve probably also checked out

Ice Cold Takes is a weekly NHL humor column that is mailing it in harder than you are by reading this at work right now.

The last week of work before the holidays is always a tough one. That isn’t limited to just us regular folk. It seems as though the Buffalo Sabres are also coasting through work on their way to the holidays after getting wrecked by a score of 6-1 to the Philadelphia Flyers last night. I guess Jack Eichel, who wasn’t in last night’s game, is a bit of a difference-maker.

The Arizona Coyotes are also focused more on what Santa has in store for them than the game, as they debuted their flashy new toy last night only to lose by a score of 8-5 to the Minnesota Wild. To be fair, Taylor Hall did open the game with a nice assist to Phil Kessel — a combo that we may have to get used to seeing more of in the near future.

It’s Dec. 20 and whether you’re working through the holidays or not, we’re all living in the same mindset. Enjoy the holidays!

The NHL’s taste in music

An ongoing hot topic around the league is the NHL’s obsession with pop-rock music from the early 2000s. There aren’t many people who are still talking about bands like Fallout Boy, All American Rejects, Green Day or, in this case, Metro Station, but the NHL stays on brand with this one.

Metro Station! There must be hundreds of songs with “shake” in the title and the NHL chose this 2008 one-hit-wonder. This is the most NHL song ever, too. Metro Station is definitely in line to open an NHL playoff game this year. I just hope these guys held onto their emo hair cuts.

WHAT A BANGER!

Svechnikov AGAIN

Scoring a lacrosse goal in a hockey game is difficult. Scoring a lacrosse goal in an NHL hockey game is nearly impossible. Scoring a lacrosse goal FOR A SECOND TIME in an NHL hockey game is probably only ever going to be accomplished by one person: Andrei Svechnikov.

Regardless of what Svechnikov does for the rest of his career, he will always be known as the guy who performed two lacrosse goals in the NHL. To me, though, he will also be forever known as the player whose name I had to spell check every time I typed it out.

Bruins enforcer David Pastrnak

Get you a mans who can do it all, like NHL superstar David Pastrnak.

Bruins enforcer David Pastrnak and the rest of his team are going to have to clean up their on-ice play a little, though, as they are currently in a bit of a mid-season skid. The Bruins have lost seven of their last 10 games, all five games that have gone to shootout this season, and are exposing some glaring issues that need to be addressed sooner rather than later. I don’t like talking about it though, so let’s move on.

Lightning strikes twice for Grandma (Don’t worry it’s just a saying)

Speaking of someone who can do it all, check out this grandma in Tampa Bay. Not only can she shred the old invisible ax, but she’s up to speed with what the kids these days are doing as well.

https://twitter.com/TBLightning/status/1207450471373230080

There isn’t much to cheer about in Tampa Bay these days. They have looked a little inconsistent this season after being broken by the Columbus Blue Jackets in last year’s playoffs. Apparently lightning doesn’t strike twice in the case of Nikita Kucherov, who only has 36 points through 32 games this season, a HUGE regression from his numbers last season. Get it together, Nikita.

Baby Yoda

The world is obsessed with the true star of Star Wars’ The Mandalorian, Baby Yoda. Apparently, no one in the Colorado Avalanche organization has ever seen the show.

What in God’s name is that thing? The Avs mascot looks more like one of those ugly ocean fish from Australia that goes viral every couple of years. Hopefully, an actual avalanche buries this horrifying creature.

Happy Holidays!

Finally, we’ll end on this. A good military family surprise video will never get old. This is another tear-jerker. Enjoy!

https://twitter.com/NHL/status/1206015713586171907

Keep your head up.