We just witnessed the full Josh Allen experience

If you ever wanted to understand the art of Josh Allen playing quarterback, the AFC Wild Card game between the Buffalo Bills and the Houston Texans was it.

We needed to call a cab for the AFC Wild Card game between the Buffalo Bills and Houston Texans.

It overserved the viewing public one dumb thing after another, to the point where nobody deserved to win this football game. Houston did, but that doesn’t matter. And nobody was captaining this sinking ship of football debauchery quite like Bills starting quarterback Josh Allen.

Allen did amazing things and he did amazingly horrendous things with the football in his hands. It was the first playoff game of his NFL career, so we expected nothing less out of his postseason debut. No, it wasn’t great, but man, did it give us absolutely everything we could have ever hoped for on the spectrum of the Josh Allen experience.

Allen completed 24-of-46 passes for 246 yards and was sacked three times, including on back-to-back plays that would have set up game-tying Stephen Hauschka field goal. He also ran the ball nine times for 92 yards, as well as scoring the first postseason touchdown for the Bills since 1999 by catching a 16-yard pass from wide receiver John Brown. Yes, it was the Bills’ only touchdown.

To set up that opening-drive touchdown reception, Allen had the longest run of the season for the Bills on a 42-yard scamper. He was the first Buffalo quarterback to ever do those two things: have the longest run of a season and catch a touchdown pass. Allen was also addicted to fumbling the football, or near enough, channeling his inner Jameis Winston or Daniel Jones for our enjoyment.

Allen attempted to dive sideways for a first down, almost fumbling it there. He fumbled another time on a run up the middle without being touched. But in peak form, Allen tried to lateral the football when getting tackled with more than a minute left on the clock after a big run. Thankfully, the ball went out of bounds. He was in full-blown panic mode and we could see it in his eyes.

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Allen gave us a quarterbacking performance unlike any other. It was more extra than anything we’ve seen out of Winston in his five years leading the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He gave us the template for how inaccurate quarterbacks who can run how to almost win road games in the playoffs against questionable head coaches like Bill O’Brien.

This game is over and has passed out.