Baton Rouge Zoo named its baby giraffe Burreaux after Joe Burrow

This is the wholesome content you need today. The Baton Rouge Zoo has named its baby giraffe Burreaux.

When people start naming exotic animals like giraffes after you, then you know you have made it.

And that is exactly what happened down in Baton Rouge with their new baby giraffe. The Baton Rouge Zoo allowed the people of the great state of Louisiana to democratically vote on the name of the very precious calf.

All of Louisiana has spoken and this little guy bears the name of the Geauxt, 2019 Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback and national champion Joe Burrow. With the finest Cajun spelling around, introducing for the first time, Baby Burreaux the Giraffe!

Naming a Bengali tiger after Burrow would have been a tad more complicated because it’s an endangered species. Naming a goat after The Geauxt seems a bit too cliché and painfully obvious. There’s a lot of goats out there anyway. But naming a beautiful baby camelopard after the greatest quarterback in LSU? This is exactly what we needed on this Valentine’s Day Friday!

I mean, who doesn’t love giraffes? People my age associate giraffes with toys, Skittles and all sorts of great things. Frankly, giraffes are in the same overall pantheon of universal praise with Burrow and his former head coach Ed Orgeron. People who don’t like giraffes are people we shouldn’t be friends with anyway. They’re giant horse dogs from another part of the world. They’re amazing!

So if you can’t make it to a Cincinnati Bengals game this fall because you’re too busy living your life and don’t want to watch Burrow attempt to overcome dysfunction like Carson Palmer did 15 years before him, at least you can have the decency to make the pilgrimage to the Baton Rouge Zoo and pay your respects to the calf named after the greatest graduate transfer quarterback of all time!

It’s tough out there, I get it. The world tries to bring all of us down all the time. So if you’re ever feeling sad about your personal life or all the injustices happening out there in the world, just remember one thing. There is a baby giraffe living and breathing at the Baton Rouge Zoo who is named after Joe Freaking Burrow!

For more NCAA football news, analysis, opinion and unique coverage by FanSided, including Heisman Trophy and College Football Playoff rankings, be sure to bookmark these pages.